My body, Your body

Every human body is a work of Art.

Women, we are all so uniquely different.

We hate bra’s. We struggle to accept, who we are.

Our flaws of weight, stretch marks, cellulite, pimples,

our look, our image, what others see.

We have an entire industry supporting our inadequacy, called ‘beauty’ therapy.

My physical appearance should be like this or that. Beauty is deep within, it is

What your body houses is your spirit and not your waist size. As is being sexy!

You can be naked and sexy, you don’t have to have a perfect body.

You are either sexy, delicious, gorgeous, these are feelings, you feel about yourself, how

you view yourself, it is a choice induced feeling.

I love myself. I am imperfect, yes.

I will treat you with love, kindness, as a friend, but this is my way of being.

Love is just that Love. Love for your body. Love your mind, love your spirit, be all you can be.

Be the best part of you.  In all of this love and accept who you are and what you stand for.

Ego sees with expectation of perfection.

What you should look like as per society, a culture, a “outlook” by males.

I say true authenticity is the real thing. What you look like now,

feeling comfortable in your body.

Being confident as you are.

Living a full life, where loosing weight, is Not your Life’s purpose, but growing

into the you, which you love unconditionally.

Face you.

Love you.

Be you.

Create your Own Image of you!

With Love x x x




Intuition : the double edged sword


Over the last 10 years of my life, I have tapped into becoming  more and more intuitive

as a empath, a healer, a psychic, a therapist, a counsellor, diving deep into my

own darkness and into the shadows to uncover, who and what I am.

Yes, I am intuitive, yes, I see the future, but it isn’t like I receive the lotto numbers.


I may warn a couple of baby no 4, which is “pending” they then choose to act responsibly or

have a baby in 9 months time. (true story)

Last year, intuition informed me of 2 pending deaths, of someone’s parents, I did

my duty and informed them and prepared them before they returned to their land of origin.

Even though I did all I can to prepare them, they still dived deep into grief, depression, etc.

(true story)


The problem with society and people is, they think being SPIRITUAL is bullshit,

they also assume that Intuition is outside of themselves, when it is a inside job.  

Being intuitive and a empath is a double edged sword, it doesn’t give you the

fluffy butterfly, angel winged bullshit, society has described it, to be.


This is real hard core truths. Life, Death, Paths, Journeys, Choices that impact on lives.

Most people when confronted between becoming a healer and dealing with their bullshit,

choose the other path, a secure job, a hated boss, a salary, a nice car, a different outfit everyday,

money in the bank, HOWEVER, everything comes with a price.

Their LIFE force and Vital energy will deplete and they will die, because they did not

follow the spiritual path of being a healer.

Which brings me to the next point.

Just because you know it, and know how it works, and you don’t live it, doesn’t mean

you are spiritual. Can we cut the fake shit, please and lets face it,  this path is NOT,

for the faint hearted, if you want easy, go get a job, work 9am to 5pm for 50 years,

fade away.

Your intuition is this feeling you get, it is gentle, subtle messages, your inner voice

speaks, it knows, it tells you, it brings dreams, it sends messages, it prepares you.

It is NOT noisy. It is NOT via text messaging. It is not a billboard.

You are the vessel.

You vibrate with every breathe you take.

You are the receiver.

You are the deliverer of messages.  If you, resist,  you receive the karma for it.

It is a strict path of conduct.

You fight the good fight, for the path of Higher Goodness.

Many will misunderstand you.

But, what matters most is that you listen and act.

There is NO other way.

Path of truth. Path of Light. Path of a healer.





Love : The Agreements we make . . .



I stand before you, TO bring this man and woman

or this man and man

or this woman and woman.

For love . . . we agree to love in sickness,  and in health,

to honour and obey, until death do us part.

We are in love with the possibility of having someone to love.

Having HUGE expectations of love.

For a person to fulfil our romantic notions, to complete and to fulfil our wants, desires

 and needs, it is a myth.

Honouring a commitment is a better form of an agreement.

By respecting and honouring it, it brings forth a deeper sense of truth,

honesty, communication, a deeper realization, a Spirit connection of Respect.

We make agreements like children agreeing to be good when our easier inclination (Lashon hara) is to be bad.

We fail to communicate whatever we need, we let nurturing and neglect fall upon our relationships,

the idea of love fades.

Does the fancy wedding matter, no!

Does the word divorce, pop up, yes.

The Easy fix is always welcomed but the inner conscious work of where the error began, is overlooked.

Is it when I rebuffed my partner?

Is it the lack of emotional attention?

Is it my lack of wanting to heal? Needing help?

Is it the lack of physical and spiritual intimacy?

The lack of speaking your truth?

The lack of trust?

The lack of love and understanding, respect?

When one partner becomes a victim?

Walking down a path of depression, ptsd, eating disorder, insomnia?

Does “in sickness” and in healthy become a question?

When the partner refuses to get help, in doing so, fails to HONOUR the Commitment?

Lets face it, DIVORCE is easy?  Sign the paper, Split the assets.

What is HARD – is going for counselling,

uncovering the true source of the

problem, then together agreeing to a

NEW Relationship Contract,

to work on yourself,

to work on your relationship,

to neglect neither yourself nor your partner.

To switch off the cell phone.

To be Home for Dinner.

To be appreciated and loved.

To make every effort possible.

To communicate better.

To console one another.

To share and be a good partner.

The rest is history.

What will your story be, an agreement or a failed commitment? 






Chains that bind : w_o_r_d_s

Her words created more wounds than good memories. I grew to dislike her. She made me anxious, giving me harsh words, punishment, when I needed love. STOP. SIT. Do, get punished. I don’t remember ever feeling wanted or loved by her. She wanted me to be thinner, taller, less curly hair, I was this menace in her life, a chore, a burden, a curse, a consequence of her relationship, with the sperm donor. Other mothers loved their kids, they fetched them at school, they hugged and kissed. I never connected with her on a emotional level.

I love you. I want you. I care for you. I’m sorry. I neglected you, were words I longed to hear. But she was and still is lost. I received unconditional  love from my grandparents.  My grandpa made me strong willed, a rebel, he imprinted into my psyche, so much that I became a aspect of him. He said : “Do what you choose, don’t listen to others, be happy.”

I have forgiven her, so much, I blessed her, but I choose to let the chains of her words die. 

I am loved.

I am beautiful.

I am cared for.

I no longer seek approval because above all else.


I love me.

I absorb . . .

She told me her story.

It broke my heart. I felt her pain, it was overbearing, as if I stood

next to her as it all unfolded, the abuse, the accidents, the scars, the

unseen scars, the cracks in her psychy.

I felt compassion and sympathy for her, and in that moment, I let

my guard down for a split second.

She entered, her pain, her symptoms, her focus of negative pleasure.

I didn’t feel it immediately, it started manifesting itself with anger and infections,

it took 1 year to remove every trace of it.

Treatments, self analysing, self healing, a shaman, cleansing ceremonies,

cutting energies and removing psychic cords everyday.

This part of healing is hard. Knowing you must protect yourself everyday,

not absorb but guide the soul and spirit to the highest possible good, enable

the Spirit to grow, fuelled by LOVE, Goodness, Kindness, Joy, Balance.

The good inclination of Spirit, the Hebrew name is Lashon Hatov.

That is how easy empaths absorb the negative energy, in that split second

of opening up, letting it in, feeling they cannot cope with their path,


We need to look, to find the good.

Seek it and it will appear.

Empaths are here to change the WORLD, NOT die of a foreign, unknown disease because we

absorbed to much negativity from others.


IMBALANCES, DEPRESSION, just to name a few.

Lets become Warriors who are gentle but Strong, lets say NO, and KEEP our guard up,

protecting our most important vessel, you.

I love me enough to protect me, to do yoga, to connect with myself, to exercise, to affirm who I am.

I NO longer treat my body like a trashcan, having all kinds of symptoms because I have no DISCIPLINE


I stand firm in what I believe and experience, I am vessel of light, so I cultivate the light which is LOVE.

I realize that, words have power and vibration, it is a seed sown into you, if you let it, it will grow, but the fruits will not be edible, it will be the shadow of death, called suffering.

You decide. Choose wisely.


Science confirms : People absorb energy from others :

Did it ever happen to you, when you were with a person and you felt a bad vibe, as if the person was stealing your energy?

“Everything is energy” is one of the main axioms of science, and human beings are no strangers to energy transformations.

An interesting study was conducted at the University of Bielefeld, Germany, which shows that plants can absorb energy from other plants. Olivia Bader-Lee, a physician and therapist, followed the results of this investigation.

Science Confirms That People Absorb Energy From Others

The science that studies the behavior of energy in living things is called bioenergetics.

This research was conducted in algae, specifically in  Chlamydomonas reinhardtii. It was discovered that in addition to photosynthesis, it also have an alternative source of energy and that would be to absorb energy from other algae. The charge of this research is the German biologist Olaf Kruse, and its findings were reported on

According to Bader-Lee, our bodies are like sponges, absorbing energy that is around us. “This is exactly why there are people who feel uncomfortable when they are in a certain group with a mixture of energy and emotions”.

“The human body is very similar to a plant that sucks, absorbs the energy needed to feed your emotional state, and can energize the cells and increase the amount of cortisol and catabolize, feed the cells depending on the emotional need. ” continues Bader-Lee.

That is why many people can change their mood which leads to being nervous, stressed, angry, anxious, sad, but also happy, optimistic and laughing.

Bader-Lee says that over the centuries, man has lost that connection with nature, in which the exchange of energy could bring enormous benefits to humanity.

Ultimately, the spirit is energy, and what we call “supernatural” is nothing more than the manifestation of different energies in the world. This was known in ancient cultures from every continent, but science has decided to ignore it and only few scientists dare to address these issues, for fear of criticism and rejection by the scientific community.


Body Image = Be Body Positive

Last night I was browsing Instagram. It is filled with men and women with before and after pictures,

depicting them loosing weight and having a ton of muscles, a six pack, looking good but looking just as miserable as they were before, THEY  DO NOT SHINE WITH SELF LOVE AND SELF ACCEPTANCE OF THEIR BODY.

I started this journey of self love, way before you knew me.

I had a 4 pack, I gymed everyday for 7 days a week. I ate healthy. I learnt to push heavy weights

that body builders used, I used to spot the oldest guy in the gym and we had fun, pumping iron.

My point is, I never liked being skinny. I felt weak and unable to do things, I wanted a strong body,


Loving moving and having a body that I loved. This is my image of myself. I created it.

My image of me was built on a lady who I saw in the gym, she was muscly, shinning,

loving her body, she was strong, she had a rock hard body,

but not what the magazines portray, she was beautiful to me.

She accepted her body.

She sculpted it.

She smiled.

She was happy.

NOT defined by others, perception, or judgment, or criticised :

Oh you have lost weight, since I last saw you, THIS IS NOT A COMPLIMENT, it just means YOU are SHALLOW, and your perceptions are so.

It shows that you, don’t love yourself and don’t accept you as you are, so you portray your perceptions, towards me,

I say NO Thank you.  You certainly don’t pay my bills, so I can happily say, . . . . . .   off.

I am tired of people judging me, by the cover of my skin, my looks, my appearance.

Does it ever matter that I LOVE ME, THAT I AM HAPPY AND CONTENT.

That I enjoy eating good healthy food.

That I have a partner who loves and adores me.

That I live a Kickass life.

I am successful because I am loved and supported by Ancestors, my higher self,

my guides, runners and most of all I love myself.

So, thank you for your opinion, but No thanks, I am good.

@nolatrees is on Instagram, she is a true Inspiration, she does yoga,

she takes naked pictures of her body, she shines, she accepted and loves herself.

JOIN  the movement of a POSITIVE body image, as you are, Beautiful.

Every curve, every roll, every stretch mark, no more punishing you, for

what you look like, value loving your imperfect self.






How to manage Aging and Stress?



I observe people, their movements, their body, the changes they

make which affects their physical appearance and their overall attitude

towards life.

I will share what works best for me, for anti –aging and stress.


Listening to Music :

I have loved music and listening to it for many many years.

Music gets me singing, moving and dancing. It is out of my head and into

my heart, which means I connect with my Inner child, using music,

laughing and playing with the lyrics, cultivating fun. Because it is one of my passions.

You definitely  can sing yourself, out of a bad mood.


Nature Lover :

I was born in a city with the view of Table Mountain. I spent years talking to the mountain and the ocean,

I was just intuitively connected to it. When I met Wp my partner, he taught me about

enjoying nature physically, like hikes, abseiling, walking, swimming.

(Being overweight didn’t stop me, I just moaned and complained, so he often, had to literally, push me up the

mountain, he made  me abseil into a cave in total darkness, so I could learn and grow myself.

I am grateful now, for it.)

I live in nature and I do love watching the sunset or the sun rise.

I go for walks every second day, weather permitting, to pray and to commune with my Higher self.

When I return, I go forage in the garden, I harvest the tomatoes, zucchini, green beans, spinach,

marrows, herbs and I bless the garden with gratitude. Nature is such a natural experience, to

connect with plants and the earth, it is nothing like technology or social media,

it is just authentic, what you see is  what you get.


Cleansing : Baths  :

Every evening I take a salt bath, infused with essential oils to cleanse the fatigue, so

I can go to bed feeling lighter and at peace.

(I have now added coconut oil and a lemon, it is such

an amazing feeling of being nurtured, try it! in your bath water.  )


Feeding your Spirit : Daily Reiki, Meditation, Yoga and Visualization :
I reiki myself every morning and every evening, to keep myself balanced.

I practise yoga poses but also research its discipline and philosophy which is deeply spiritual.

I read about 4 to 5 books at a time, so I can keep my mind sharp, I do about 30 minutes of reading,  everyday.

I meditate to quiet my mind and I practise visualising my day, the best possible day ever.

I also send energy to the future for infinite abundance to flow with love.

I write: this is what I love the most, deciphering my mind and spirit.


 Diet :

Eating a healthy diet, has been one of my biggest challenges as a vegetarian who eats fish.

I eat fresh vegetables from the garden everyday, combined with 3 fruits, smoothies and green juices in the morning.

I have scaled down my meals to one nice lunch time meal everyday.

I am then only allowed small things like fruit, cereal for dinner with yoghurt, so my digestion has a resting period of

12 hours, because fasting is actually good for you and sharpens your brain, gives your organs a rest and you begin to feel lighter without starving which also naturally detoxes your body, so you poop begins to smell cleaner.

I also drink 1 l of water and 1 l of green juices which consists of water, 4 spinach leaves, lemon, apples x 2, tomatoes, well blended in my Blender.


Detox teas and drinks :

Prior to 2007, I enjoyed normal tea, milkshakes and soft drinks, these have been phased out.

I now drink rooibos tea, honeybush, mint, peppermint, ginger, watermelon, green, oolong and chamomile tea for bedtime.

I also found a detox anti inflammatory drink : 1/2 turmeric tsp, 1 tsp honey, black pepper, slither of ginger, splash of cinnamon, which are helpful when I have sinus or to much mucus or a achy body.

I also sniff salt warm water up my nose and cleanse my throat, if I have inhaled to much pollen, this gets the toxins out.


Nurturing :

The most nurturing thing to do as part of self love and a prevention method is

touch therapy : massage / reiki, this magic of healing, I cannot stress

how deeply we as a society need healing, love, attention and affection.

It will change your world and universe for sure.

Experiencing Anger, Stress, Frustration, Pissed off, Aggression, Noise, Pollution, Traffic,

Toxins like Caffeine, Smoking, Alcohol, Toxic – negative people :

All takes a toll on your immune system.

When You give away your vital energy to family, work, friends, wife, children,

the aging process starts happening faster. It is surely time to nurture

the emotional self with a time out, a day off, a movie of fun and laughter.

A pyjama day is in order. We all need some time out to reconnect with ourselves and

just being puts back, what you give away.



The art of standing bare feet on the grass and connecting to Mother earth,

tying a rope around a big rock at the core of the earth, lifting your arms and

connecting to the sky. Filling your aura with love and a blue shield of protection,

helps you to stay in your own skin and stay calm.


A helping hand : Gemstones :

The world is filled with electric magnetic energy = cell phones, pc, vibrations

affect us. I wear hematite, obsidian, black tourmaline, petrasite, jet for protection, it soothes my aura when I come into contact with negativity, so I am kept calm.


Snoozing : 

This is a very important part, snoozing for 20 minutes, to ensure longevity.

Take a nap during the day, whenever, you can, usually after lunch.


Saying NO :

Over the years, I have learnt that saying No and meaning it, is both freeing and liberating.

I use this word often, because I threw away my people pleasing gene, so I can just be myself without

having to justify why. No, means no. that’s it. Exercise your right to just say it without arguing.

No!  thanks, I am good.


Self love :

The keys to loving yourself, rest within you.

To love you is also to take care of you.

To nurture you. To spend time with you.

To grow, To learn, to Appreciate you.

Its basically like having a relationship with you,

so you can be a great partner to someone.
Treat  You well.

May we all learn to age well, never looking our age, but speaking wisdom from the heart.







How to recognise a WITCH, by her actions. . .



The definition of a witch is someone who uses their powers for evil or to cause harm.

(As a reiki healer, practitioner, master  = We undertake a vow to do no harm, overall.)

In order to fully comprehend this, let me share my story.

You meet a lady, she is friendly, charming, she “reels” you in, and you become

friends and you begin to trust her. She wants to learn REIKI  at age 71,

she has a little hut where she meditates, she has a “healing”group that

gathers every week or so. (You think, shes spiritual)

They discuss healing perspectives, and she is the leader. (Absorbing energy from others)

She channels  spirits as a medium called “Lord Katumi” and has had no official training on any level.

So, you teach her, her level 1 Reiki, she is open and receptive to the energy, 6 weeks passes.

I leave for India the following week, to do some self healing and learning.

She starts to make some advances on your husband, in your absence,  haunts you when your asleep,

haunts your partners son in Johannesburg, things are becoming unsettling.

Did I mention she sent elements = Evil Spirits to us. . .

We have to take precautions of protection =

  1. Placing salt around the entire house including on the window sills.
  2. Removed all gifts received from her, out of  the house. (into trash)
  3. Use a stainless steel knife to cut her ENERGY from our aura.
  4. Wear hematite gemstones for protection.
  5. DO not allow any thoughts to wonder to her.
  6. Remove, block, delete her from every social media possible.
  7. Keep your guard up, blue shield. Block her out.
  8. Write her name on a page, fold it, place in a blue bottle and fill with water, say I now freeze her out. Place in the freezer.

A witch is basically someone who uses ENERGY AND THE POWER OF INTENTION to do

harm, to haunt, to interfere, to have their way, to manipulate someone, to AMPLIFY THE NEGATIVE.

(They find great pleasure in the Negative!   talking negative and being negative)

I cannot stress this enough : Amplifying the negative  in excess : for example, say they experienced a trauma and thereafter, they will get hacked or someone close will die, or they will be in debt, you begin to see the negative just growing at such a fast rate that the POSITIVE LIFE AFFIRMING SPIRIT of love is GONE! this person, then lives off pain, disease, has a condition of depression or a psychological disorder, you can now see the scenario, and how it has GROWN, THEY WILL ALSO LACK SELF LOVE and take energy from people close to them.

Sometimes you need to take a step back and reassess when you give someone help and just wait for the

AUTHENTIC SPIRIT TO Appear, even if its a witch in disguise as a nice old lady.

Be Aware.






What does it take to be a healer (reiki), massage therapist, counsellor ?



I will start at the beginning. What does it take to be a Reiki master?

The word Reiki master in itself, means Teacher. Teaching the art of

channelling Energy/Chi to a student, means you have mastered the art of Reiki.

That is it. If you obviously, got the certificate for being a REIKI Master,

and put it in the cupboard and happily spread the “words” I am a REIKI MASTER, without having

taught anyone by means of a Reiki Attunement, teaching someone and carrying

their karma for 6 weeks, well, darling, you are NOT a reiki master, you just have the piece of  paper.

Over the last 9 years, I have met various reiki masters, teaching someone is the defining ACTION, because you get those who TALK and those that DO. If your not doing …. well…

There are various courses online, do this! and you will be a REIKI Master in 6 weeks. It took me 2 years to complete this journey because I needed to sort out myself, my karma, gain a firmer and deeper foundation into what it means to practise REIKI.  THERE IS NO QUICK FIX, YOU HAVE TO EMBARK ON A SELF HEALING JOURNEY WHICH DOES NOT TAKE 6 WEEKS OR A WEEKEND, so lets stop pretending you will be a HEALER AFTER 1 weekend course. You will only do yourself more harm than good, lets quit the bullshit.

Lets face it, this life is not for everyone, which brings me to the point of  :  I am not a healer because I have failed at everything else. I am a healer/ therapist/ counsellor, because this is a calling upon my life and I left a corporate money based world to do this.


Since, I started this journey in 2008, it has been a rollercoaster of change.

I am an anarchist. I have been living and working freely for 9 years.

I live by my own rules and ethics, it is NOT INFLUENCED by society, religion,

government legislation, politics, human conditioning.

I am accountable to the Universe for every action,  and 100% responsible for myself.

I choose to live by my own code of standards.

  1. I am a woman. I was born to be a woman, a warrior, a healer, a shaman,  a therapist, a wife, and this is my purpose. NOTHING ELSE matters. My life is completely purpose driven. (NOT money driven)
  2. I choose to be a extra ordinary healer and live “out of the box life”. (living a mundane life, is not for me)
  3. There are those that are called to a purpose and once found, their soul is fulfilled, this is my path and journey. I cannot envision my life without healing : reiki / massage / counselling – Serving humanity. This is a deep calling and my soul journey.  (this is not for everyone)
  4. I choose to live a clean life  = I do no harm. I refrain from eating meat, I refrain from ingesting toxins like caffeine and alcohol, I refrain from smoking cigarettes or weed, I refrain from interacting with negative people as this can be toxic to my vibration. Living a disciplined life, where I am alert, aware and connected to the Universe,  is a daily practice which means, I wake up at 4.30am to do yoga, to pray, to reiki me, to go walking, I do weights, so that I can keep Mastering myself. (I do this because I want to be the best of me, for me. This is not for everyone)
  5. I also choose to speak my truth, I cannot lie. It comes out brutally, harshly, sharply, but out it must come.
  6. I have chosen to tap into my female and male side which has shifted my perspective and opened up more paradigms to explore and gain experience from. Learning and Listening to my Ancestors is part of this.
  7. Like Grandpa says, talk is cheap, but money buys the whisky.  Actions speaks.
  8. Words are seeds sown to the Universe. They will bring you dividends in your karma and action that will affect your finances, so stop the excuses, and lets become a society of AUTHENTICITY.
  9. Kick Ass woman who Do and Act righteously, treating humans, woman and children with love and respect.
  10. Changing You. Changes those around you. Do that. Stop the Victim talk.


How to create, prevent, cure CANCER



The emotional root cause for Cancer is deep resentment, distrust, self pity,

hopelessness, helplessness. (Essential Reiki by Diane Stein)

Lets create the circumstances for CANCER:

An Empath : Absorbing the negative energy / emotions from others = family, friends, anyone telling them their negative story. Subduing and storing it, in the sacral chakra. This affects your aura, daily. You develop a bump at the base of your spine, it starts to grow. . . . affecting your vital energy.

Carrying others emotionally = like your Mother who never loved you and criticises you.

Carrying your wife = who works in a cancer ward as a nurse but offloads on you.

Carrying your abusive husband = who insults your body, your mind, your spirit.

Carrying your family  = Twin sister & mother because they hate each other.

Carrying your husband = his the breadwinner and you feel he deserves to offload on you.

Carrying your Mother = She feels she married your father by mistake, and you are a better husband  confidant, for her.

Carrying your kids = You feel It is what your supposed to do.

Diet =  Add in stress + fast food + lack of exercise + smoking  + drinking alcohol

Debt = Worrying about your financial situation excessively

=================Basically being a VICTIM!

Emotionally you can see how easily absorbing the negative emotions from others,

as empaths, we do this naturally, which results in foreign illness, dis-ease and imbalance.

How to PREVENT this cancer from Spreading?

Staying in your own SKIN – Do not take on others emotions.

If you do, go outside and ground yourself to the earth, scoop their energy from your

aura, release it to the earth and to the SKY. Reground you to the earth and fill you with

Light and LOVE.

Next SCOOP the energy from your Sacral (tummy area) AND CUT it, now blow,  and say I remove their emotions.

Come for a REIKI session to clear, heal and balance your aura regularly.

Do yoga breathing  – exhale 7 times from diaphragm, releasing their energy.

Shift your ENERGY to loving You. yes. LOVING you = I love me enough to not

absorb their energy. I am not a trash can.

Meditate and visualize a blue shield around you for protection.

Affirm who you are, say NO! and refer them to a professional counsellor. (me or someone else)

Maintain your balance as a human being, ensuring your yin and yang are in tune because

someone NEEDING you IS NOT love. Address the old conditioning you have, lets go on

a healing journey.

The Cure for CANCER :

There are many, so far, . . . .

Receiving REIKI

cultivating a deep self LOVE



Happiness  of LIFE and

Living a healthy diet

Basically living SPIRIT  – yoga, massage, meditation, reiki, counselling, exercise

ALL assist in the healing process.

Imagine you have lived your entire life, carrying others, subduing your emotions

and NOT dealing with your female emotional self. I know, I was firmly going down

this path, if I did not quit my job. I didn’t have cancer, but I felt I was DYING Slowly.

So, if you want cancer, continue on the self destructive path, if not,

come see me and lets see what you need to lift your spirt, to heal your body,

and become the person you were meant to be.

Living a life of PURPOSE, NOT money driven.

A life worth living, which is soul fulfilling.

Yesterday, I met a lady who came to me  for reiki in 2015.

I had informed her to stop absorbing the energy from

others, or it would create a foreign disease, I had also

informed her of becoming a mother.

Subsequently, 2 years later, she had cancer and she

is a mom.   Prevention is better than Cure, so please please

heed the warning.




21st century : Sexual pleasure as a woman *Adult content*



I ask you to leave judging, blaming, shaming, accusing, taking

it personally, assuming at home, and read this blog as it is

intended with TRUTH, LOVE and OPENNESS for woman.


Men are visually stimulated. Females are emotionally stimulated.

Men have had a industry cater for their needs with porn, ladies of the night,

strippers, escorts, mistress’s, girlfriends, etc. for centuries.

For a woman, we don’t have a industry catering for our pleasure.

We have to create OUR PLEASURE.

We are all different, not one woman is the same, our vaginas are

different, unique, but we all seek love, compassion, intimacy,

friendship, loyalty, passion, desire, and mind blowing orgasms.

Most people believe that being spiritual means abstinence, however,

it is the opposite. Living a fully sexually stimulated life, you need to

be active, so Here we go…. (time to exercise your laughter)

  1. you need a GOOD LOVER : Learn about your partners body. Better yet, get to know your own body, flick your bean, so you learn about what you like and dislike.
  2. Wear sexy undies. Flirt with your partner. Keep the spark alive.
  3. Have sex regularly, 3 times a week : with yourself or with your partner at least.
  4. It is healthy to have sex, yes. So many people are sexually subdued and frustrated. A happy ending is good for everyone, be happy.
  5. Google is a good tool : Make sure you have a good porn stash, even if it is just to laugh your ass off.  Have fun together with your partner.
  6. Foreplay isn’t just when your lying in bed. It is walking pass your partner to steal a kiss. A pitch. A glance. A stare.  We are all sexual beings, lets enjoy the pleasure of it.
  7. Dress pretty or sexy or both – men are visual yes, but feeling good and looking good goes well together.
  8. Smile often : wear a dress. Walk around naked, be free. Enjoy your body and being physically naked.
  9. Some women put their vaginas away and become old hags who are sexually frustrated and dry. Don’t let it be you. Use it or loose it. Dried up puss puss’s are no fun. All they do is negative talk, complain, nag and become a bitter old sack of bones.  No thanks, that’s not for me. (I am sure you know a few)  Touch and Making Love is one of the pleasures of being HUMAN, denying this act is like burying a part of yourself in the backyard, hoping you won’t die. I say no thank you and YAK!  Life is for the living.
  10. Safe Sex, regular sex, magical sex, go hand in hand. Don’t use “it won’t happen to me” as a contraception, be wise condomise, use the pill, have a patch inserted in your arm. It is part of self love, to be responsible, so be it.
  11. Go for regular papsmears and check ups for your vajay jay, especially if you have more than 1 partner, just be safe.
  12. Using your body to have SEXUAL PLEASURE is fulfilling, enjoying, living, the most unique experience and fun that you can have with another human being, CONNECTION, ONENESS.  The after glow is magnificent. So if your sexually dormant, maybe its time to test the waters of pleasure, even if its just by yourself.
  13. I started visiting sex shops when I was 21, I usually leave them, shocked, laughing my head off and feeling  uncatered for. South African vibrators are not the nicest, it seems that USA has this market flooded, if you can get one, do plug it in at HOME! how else will you know what you like.
  14. Know yourself. Speak about what you need, sexually. Be well pleasured. Sated. Satisfied and Happy and most of all FREE!  to be whatever you choose or desire.





Fat People can Dance, Move, Live : Meet Amanda : A Kick Ass Dancer


I was browsing Instagram and found @amandalacount , aged 16

years old, who dances professionally, she moves her body and has broken so many stereo

types about Fat people.  I don’t like the term “fat” it is derogatory, just as

the words  “gay” or “black”, so I will call her Amanda a Kick Ass Dancer.


You can read about her and watch her video, she is very inspiring

at the age of 16, she has endured prejudice of all sorts, but continues

to live her dream and persue what she loves! I wrote to her and she sent me one of her

interviews. . .


 You can view the I Heart My Body video I am featured in here:

Hi Amanda!

> Thanks so much for agreeing to participate in this video! We really think it is going to have a huge impact on females across the globe. When you have a second, can you please send me your responses to the following questions:
> 1. Please give a brief bio of yourself.  I turned 16 on the 16th of Jan.!  I am from Fort Collins, Colorado where I was raised with my 6 brothers and sisters by my mom.  Dance is my passion and I started when I was 2 years old.
> 2. How did you get started in dance?  I started dancing when I was 2.  I had 2 older sisters that danced and I wanted to do it too!
> 3. How long have you been dancing? WOW!  It has been 14 years this month.
> 4. When did your career really take off?  Two years ago when I made the big move from Colorado to Los Angeles and I signed with Bloc Talent Agency, things really started to happen professionally for me.
> Another big break was when Matt Steffanina put me in a class video last year.  He has more followers on Youtube than any other dancer/choreograper in the world with over 5 million subscribers.  He put me in his “Dessert” video which has over 25 million views and over 75% of the comments are about me.  “The girl in the neon shoes.”  It led to Matt putting me on his TV show “Dance Off Juniors” last year.  This was also a turning point because I learned that I didn’t have to reply to any hater comments.  Whenever anyone posted anything bad, there would be a big group standing up for me just the way I am.  It felt great to know I had this support out there from people I had never even met.  This is when the negative comments quit making me feel bad. 😊
> 5. Have you encountered any negativity during your career? (Body shaming, gender bashing, etc.)  I had a performance at Taste of Soul with a hip hop crew “Latin Flavah” before moving to LA.  That night I attended a red carpet event with a friend.  I was dressed up and looked nice.  Afterwards we asked to take a picture with Richard Simmons.  He said yes, but then proceeded to point at me in front of all the celebrities and say I had to lose weight.  Then he went on to point to my mom and say she should be an example.  She said to him that once he had given birth to 7 kids, then he could talk to her about weight.  He said he gave birth to 8???  I told my mom I changed my mind

and didn’t want to move to LA anymore.  I felt really bad. 😣
> Later my mom emailed his manager for a public apology.  Eventually he sent a private apology saying it had been a bad day.  I had performed on stage right before Stevie Wonder and had danced 8 hours that day at a dance convention.  Richard assumed that since I was not skinny that I must be lazy.  What’s funny is that he was taking pictures with some big name overweight actors that night, but he never commented on their weight!
> People assume all the time that I must be lazy and/or eat junk food  all day.  I eat healthy most of the time and usually dance 50+ hours per week.  This is just me and I won’t become anorexic or bulimic to fit society’s mold.  I like me and I like that I don’t look like everyone else.  I am very healthy and often dance 8 or more hours straight!
> 6. If so, how have you handled it?  After I moved to LA, someone told me that if you have haters you are doing something right because people are talking about you.  It doesn’t really bother me any more.  Dance is my passion and my goal is to inspire others.  I am actually the Spokesperson for The Inspire Campaign.  My personal tag is #breakingthestereotype
> 7. Explain the story and meaning behind your hashtag #breakingthestereotype
> When I was growing up dance teachers and other mothers told my mom I couldn’t be a dancer because of my body type.
> At my competition studio after I competed for a year, won 3 dance titles, and was awarded over $11,000 in dance scholarships (just that year alone) . . I was told that my body type didn’t fit his image for the team.  He also said as I was leaving that I was bad at tap and hip hop.  This is funny because for 2 years I have been on immaBEAST (which is the premier world wide hip hop crew led by Willdabeast) and I also just auditioned and made the #Unfiltered Sole Talk Company which is Syncopated Ladies’ (under the direction of Chloe and Maud Arnold) new youth tap crew.  Can’t get much better than that!!
> I went to another big name studio and they looked me up and down and refused to even give me a tour of the studio.  There was no one else there at the time.
> The next big name studio said I could dance there, but I would have to wear booty shorts and a sports bra on stage like everyone else.  I don’t think so.  Since when did dance require that you wear a bra and shorts to perform?!
> I took dance classes at another studio in Colorado and the ballet teacher said I was too heavy to dance on pointe, even though I had already been on pointe for 4 years.  She said because of my weight I would get hurt.  To this day I have never had a dance injury, not even a blister from pointe.
> When I moved to LA I was living by Debbie Allen Dance Studio.  I wanted to dance there, but when I went to a level placement audition with the Academy Director, Karen McDonald, she told my mother and I afterwards that I was too fat to be a dancer.
> Then I joined a crew at a big name professional studio in LA and I was asked to sign a contract saying I may not be placed in performance numbers based on my size.  (After I complained they changed the contract.)
> Before moving to LA I asked a well known LA dance teacher if I could make it as a dancer in LA.  She facebooked back that I should take her diet pills and drop my caloric intake down to under 1,000 calories a day.  I was 13 at the time.
> 8. How do you feel about being a role model to other females?  It is very important to me and I take it very seriously.  I never had any good role models in dance when I was growing up so I would like to think that I can be that for other dancers that don’t fit the traditional mold.  A recent role model for me is Misty Copeland.  I really admire how she ignored what everyone said and made her own path.
> 9. How do you hope to influence females in the future?  My goal is that anyone that wants to dance (or do anything else) won’t listen to what others say, and will just go out and have fun.  You don’t have to be the best in the room.  Just have fun and dance from your heart.  That is what matters most!
> 10. Please include anything else you’d like us to know!
> Some fun facts –
> * Raised with my 6 older brothers and sisters by a single mom.  My brothers and sisters are all back in Colorado and Wyoming working on a PhD in Physics Engineering, an MD, a PhD in Psychology, a BS in Physical Therapy, graduated with a BS in Accounting and graduated with a BS in Electrical & Mechanical Engineering.
> * I attend CHAMPS Charter High School of Performing Arts in the Dance Academy as a Junior.  I hope to attend Loyola Marymount as a Pre-Law and a Dance Major.
> * I used to be a competitive figure ice skater and qualified for nationals 3 years in a row.  I was also a competitive allstar cheerleader for 6 years as a flyer and was on 4 National Title winning teams.
> * I have 3 dogs.  Two miniature dachshunds named Bella and Barney (they are brother and sister that I have had for 9 years) and a chihuahua named Bailey.
> * I performed professionally in musical theatre before I moved to LA from the age of 5 and I performed in the National Tour of the Wizard of Oz.  Some of my favorite shows include 4 runs of Annie, Sound of Music, Wizard of Oz, Christmas Carol, and The Wiz.
> * When I was younger I played most sports such as baseball, softball, soccer, ice hockey, and inline hockey.
> * My family used to own a Tae Kwon Do studio and my mom and all my brothers and sisters hold black belts.  I hold an International Tae Kwon Do sparring title from when I was 6.
> * I normally dance between 45-50+ hours per week between school, dance classes, and company rehearsals.
> * Along with dance, I have been acting in LA where I have been in 8 movies, 34 TV episodes, 6 national commercials, and 14 music videos.  See
> * I also like to draw and ride horses.
> * I am very thankful and humble for the gift of dance that I have been given and my greatest joy is dancing for others to inspire them and to make them smile and/or feel emotion.
> * Favorite food is broccoli.
> * Favorie color is lavender.
> * Last summer I shot an impromptu video of me dancing with some street performers at Santa Monica Pier and it has over 25 million views on Facebook and Instagram.
> * Last acting shoot I had in December was a Steven Spielberg movie coming out in 2018.
> Let me know if you need anything else.
> Amanda


THANK YOU Amanda! for your email and sharing your story!

Faith by Claire

I have always been pretty good at listening to the still small voice within when it comes to big decisions. Moving countries, getting married, changing jobs, building houses, having babies: when crossroads appear, I slow down, seek out quiet spaces, and watch for the signs. I manage to shut my ears to expectations and follow spirit’s choice, even when it seems illogical or unlikely. This skill has given my life path color, and some unusual about-turns in direction. When I thought to stop and consider this aptitude, I glanced about with satisfaction and patted myself on the back. It has taken three decades and some earth-severing shifts for me to realize how bumbling, clumsy, and awkward I am when it comes to tiny choices.
A deep rich dialogue goes on in my mind, so much so that I have often deluded myself into thinking that I can have the whole world just where I want it. I carried an ingrained belief that if I think hard enough, if I know enough, if I control all the variables, then I can make sure nothing bad happens. My sense of responsibility to make everything turn out okay was extreme; it weighed down my shoulders and knotted up my neck. For the most part I found this price worth the chance to keep fear at bay. I was reluctant to abandon myself to the present moment, to routine and the mundane, to petty ordinary fears, and the large looming tragedies hidden in the everyday. But as I moved into the world of unschooling, and the biggest leap of my professional life, I was shocked to realize the extent to which I am plagued by an insufficiency of faith. I looked down, really looked down for the first time, and saw my knuckles burning white as I clung to the signpost. Moving forward into the unknown – not the great vast unknown but the one in the right here and now swamping my feet – terrifies me. And the reason underlying this terror is a fundamental disbelief in the order of things.

As in many other aspects of my life, it is my daughter who has given me the courage to see myself as I really am. Each day she grows a little more, learns a little more, and moves further into the world. When children enter this world, absolutely nothing falls into the known category. The world bustles with information. Its textures, colors, sounds and smells cut sharply into the newborn’s psyche. But rather than curl up in terror, they step boldly into the world, eyes wide with wonder. All information is considered potentially relevant. They watch and play and explore a little further and then wait patiently for order to arise from chaos. They are masters of uncertainty, and therefore masters of trust. My daughter’s journey reminds me that I too once knew what trust was. I too once sat at the knee of God. Until I didn’t. At some point, I moved far enough out into the world to see that there amidst the noise and beauty, was also pain, hurt and despair. As I grew my view of the world expanded, and what I saw jarred with my expectations for good. There was so much hurt, such tender fragility, and even downright evil. Faced with these dawning perceptions, the feeling that shuddered through my small body ran along the lines of What the fuck? What idiot designed this mess?

But before the pain of this disconnect could even register, my forming personality ran and hid behind complicated defense mechanisms. I learned that some degree of protection lay in objectivity, in not wanting, or feeling, too much. To achieve this I let my identity blur, and let the muscles that held up who I was and why grow flaccid and weak from disuse. I stood up from the meadow of children and walked away from faith. I forgot how to fight. I forgot how to breathe in chaos. I dislodged something deep inside and forbade myself from grieving.

Now, as I find the courage to pick out the important and let go the rest, rhythms slow and my life widens. In the space that is opening I am beginning to understand that there is no way to live well without revisiting my lack of belief, without moving my heart into the unknown and learning all I can about faith. I need to find my edges and move towards them. A little older, a little braver, made a little more pliant by disappointment and failure, I am ready to make the painful confession than I have very little idea what I’m doing. I am becoming a child once again, not only to address hidden pain, but also to reclaim new ways to meet each day. With innocence, with joy, and with faith in the design.

There is a difference between sin and prayer. There is a difference between faith and panic. But there they lie side by side because they are the pairs of choices that wait at the fork. They are the two sides of the dialectic: the choice between light and dark, between joy and fear. One moves forward, the other holds us in stagnation. Both lay about our every moment. A thousand tiny choices spanning the distance between the life you have and the life you dream of. It is infinitely far; it is as close as a breath. To live in the light we have to choose it now… and again, and again. We are balancing along a razor-edge and that is how it was always meant to be. Because life wasn’t made to be comfortable. Hope will never be ours to claim and despair will always only be a fumble away. It is never okay to leave your courage at home.

*This post was sponsored by Colleen at the Midlands House of Healing (084 603 0604). This month she treated me to the newest therapy in her repertoire: Restoration of the Divine Feminine. It is a 75-minute massage with hot stones, Hawaiian Lomi and Kahuna massage and reiki. It is a kaleidoscope of sensations. It draws out yin energy and restores balance. But while it softens and nurtures, it asks a lot of the receiver. It asks that we give in and give up. In what moments does our culture value vulnerability? When are we taught that to surrender, to the right power at the right moment, is a test of true strength? I have begun to wonder if it is only in surrender that we can know joy. Because joy is the absence of fear.

STOP! Body shaming! How to become a GODDESS



I remember the first time I was body shamed by my mother,

she complained about how difficult, it was to buy me clothes

because I had a pot belly. “Why can’t you be tall like your sister?

Why can’t your hair be straighter?”

From that moment on, I realized I was different.

Throughout my life, I had an ugly duckling complex, until

I embarked on a self healing journey, to become,

who I truly am. Me. I have been changing my body, my mind

and my spirit, to a whole and balanced being.

Yesterday, I watched a woman, drag her t shirt over her love handles

(fat at her sides) and wanting to tuck her tummy in before entering

Pick and Pay.    This just angered me, so much.

She walked with shame, with her 2 kids and I felt saddened.

Woman : who run a household, work a job, and we are judged

for fat and stretch marks, for a imperfect body.

I am honestly, tired of Body shaming and stereo typing of what a woman

should look like, I even hear pregnant mommy’s complain about them

not having “their body, because of the baby. I ASK, really?

Being so disconnected from you, that you cannot see your value and

lack of self love, and admire your beauty, no matter what your

shape or size, but as you are.  We live in a very visually stimulated world,

look at facebook, twitter, Instagram, if its pleasing to the EYE,

some stranger will like it, you get  an instant gratification, really? (its fake)

What about self acceptance. Self Love. Self Esteem.

Self appreciation. Learning to love yourself, just the way you are.

Having the courage to change what you desire, not what the fake world out

there decides for you. As woman, we have stretch marks, our looks are

JUDGED from the moment, we take our first breathe.     BUT . . .

We are GODDESS’s


7 STEPS TO BECOME A GODDESS AND FEEL DIVINE!The word ‘Goddess‘ seems to have recently become a buzzword. In the 1950’s only those immortalised on the silver screen such as Marlena Dietrich & Marilyn Monroe were referred to as ‘Screen Goddesses‘ but now Goddesses seem to be popping out at us from every small screen & magazine to sell us shavers, gym equipment & aromatherapy kits. So what do these mortal women have that qualifies their status as modern day Goddesses? (And what can the rest of us do to become one?)

In a nutshell, a modern day Goddess as a woman who sees & honours all aspects of her self as natural & therefore perfect & sacred. (Note: that does include spontaneous burping & farting!)

Yes, any woman can shine with liberated self-acceptance & vitality when she chooses to value herself as a unique expression of divine life force, instead of trying to become the perfect woman she thinks everyone else wants her to be. (Thankfully, the days of taking a Bex & lying down in overwhelm are over!)


To make the transition into a fully-fledged Goddess you must realize there is no such thing as the perfect woman. I would also like to point out that your idea of the perfect woman is not necessarily the same as mine. For instance, depending on which feminine archetype is ruling you, you may aspire to be a tall leggy blonde, a perfect Mother or a career superwoman…but none of these ideals will bring happiness if they are not balanced by the other psychological aspects.

Ultimately, by focusing on a conscious journey through the feminine archetypes, we all come to understand ourselves better as women so we can in turn create more harmonious relationships with those around us & manifest a more fulfilling, sustainable & balanced life.


Each Goddess aspect within our psyche governs a chakra (these are the 7 main energy centres located within our bodies). As we become aware of how to express their positive traits we start to shine with confidence in every area of our life, which attracts people to us like moths to a flame!

7 Things You Can Do To Release Your Goddess Mojo!

1. Speak up when something doesn’t feel comfortable.
2. Pamper yourself once a week to top up your cup of self love.
3. Use your skills to make the world a better place.
4. Spend regular time in nature to reconnect.
5. Attend a sisterhood gathering once a month.
6. Meditate at least once a week – this will help you to have less negative thoughts.
7. Dance like no one is watching

Click here for details:



A lighter heart



Every now and then, you need to cleanse your heart.

Its like receiving massages, to detox and cleanse you,

so you can see clearer and be present and aware.

Sometimes you need to cry and then the healing process starts.

Life with a closed heart is not a life but a survival mechanism

that doesn’t work. A world that suppresses being a woman,

suppresses being emotional and being our true selves.

Where single mom’s are shamed and judged, where kids are blamed

for changing their lives, like  motherhood is a burden of

never ending sacrifice.

A lighter heart and a female connection shifts you into a space of Balance.

Your perception changes, an opening to your Higher self and a

deeper connection of spirit lives and you start to FORGIVE.

You start to say I am sorry, I let go,

I have learned a lesson.

Truth shines and you have grown wiser in the process.

A true inner reflection, a switched on inner compass of love

is ignited as you CHOOSE to move forward into

Awareness and Wholeness.

By exercising your Lighter heart.

To reopen your heart, do come see me

for a session of massage / reiki,

live the magic!  Happy V day . . .


In sickness and In Health : having your life purpose tested?



From the moment I was born, my mortality was tested.

I lived in a incubator for 2 months, my days were spent trying

to heal and grow, the result was, I have asthma, I manage it with

medication (pump), taking allergex, eating healthy and keeping my triggers of

overworking and anger/ fear  under control.

Needless to say, sometimes I fail or sometimes it feels like it.

I get busy in the real realm of life and the spiritual realm of

assisting others to heal. My purpose is tested, yes, by the Universe,

will I lie down and accept being sick, yes and no?

Yes, if I do get sick, I will surrender and go see my Indian

doctor, who questions my diagnosis and sometimes sheds

light onto it, which makes me think. He is my healer, he

has patiently answered my questions and made me find

a holistic approach to my own healing.

I always viewed going to the doctor as a failure but in fact,

I sometimes need help, a 2nd opinion. If I cant fix or prevent it,

I can rely on modern medicine to have a cure, so I can feel better and I

can keep using my preventative measures of a healthy diet, exercise,

yoga, meditation, chi kung, walking, toning, taking my vitamins

and drinking water to keep on my path, my journey.

I don’t let having a cold or a infection stop me ever.

I work with human beings, I am exposed to germs, bacteria,

and the like everyday. So, I keep focus and I get up,

I learn a lesson, I surrender, I reassess, where did I slip,

was it anger, that lowered my immunity, was it overworking?

Then I stand up and address what I need to?

Action.  Take my meds and keep delving deeper into

myself to heal what is needed, to keep moving forward.

I can change me, sickness is just making me aware of my mortality.

Every breathe, I take, every heartbeat, means I have another

chance, to live my spirit, to get back up and become amazing

again! . . . . and so it begins . . . .  Another Journey.



Explore the contours of your heart



I sit quietly, exploring the contours of my heart.

The love that was lost and why?

Why I was seeking the love, the adoration, the attention,

from those who spoke love freely, who did not use

their words impeccably. I now know, that love is a action.

Love is the support from the person who takes you to the doctor.

Love is accepting the lecture, afterwards.

Love is the keeping of their word to you.

Love is having a deep connection with another human being.

Love is answering your text, when you need them to.

Love is care, giving you attention, when you need it.

Love is a hug and a kiss.

Love is offering help, and asking for it.

Love is having someone, you can rely on.

Love is a trusting someone with your emotions,

when you feel good or bad.

Love is also learning to overlook the inadequacies of being human.

Love is someone caring about you, just being there for you.

Love is not a false proclamation of LOVE, and never calling or texting.

Love is loving yourself first, putting your needs first and then

giving respect to your partner for their needs and wants.

Love is agreeing to disagree, finding middle ground and

a deeper understanding of being human.

Love is sharing a meal, enjoying the taste and flavours of food.

Love is packing away freshly laundered clothes.

Love is cleaning, where your partner forgot to.

Love is also sacrifice.

Love is also doing chores, you hate.

Love is forgiving all.

Love is laughing together.

Love is intuitively caring, to assist your partner to achieve their goal.

Love is working hard together, to prosper and attract abundance.

Love is helping. Love is a kind word.

Love is also surrendering when you are wrong.

Love is knowing, your partner makes the home.

Love is the smell of lunch, wafted around the kitchen, when your hungry.

Love is cold bottle of kombucha, on a hot day.

Love is doing gardening, when you really don’t want to.

Love is making tea, when you d rather be reading.

Love is sharing moments of life, the good, the

bad, the ugly, and growing into a deeper maturity, so

you can be yourself, knowing that mature love,

lasts longer than infatuation, or false proclamations

of love, which was only Lust.

Enter the contours of your heart, become wiser,

as you love you for being You.



How to create MONEY?



Creating money is a Spiritual experience.

I started my healing practice in 2009, I have been living debt free for 9 years.

Creating money is part of your self love and living consciousness.

This being said, I had to figure out how to create money,

to buy food, to pay for petrol, to pay for Rent, debit orders etc.

It starts with a thought?

Do I love myself? the answer is YES

Do I love what I do? Yes

Do I believe in infinite abundance ? Yes –  for example, if we need rain,

do I trust that the Universe, it will provide rain when I need it, Yes.

Do I have a believe that is so strong and assured that I know, that when

I have a need, it will be provided for, yes. Trust. A deeper sense of knowing

which requires you to tap into your Intuition. Your Radar, Your consciousness.

In most people, this has been “put aside”, we are taught to do, not feel.

What You believe, affects your reality and your life.

It starts with believing that your needs will be provided for.

A thought of I have enough money for everything I need.

Next: Your words, that you speak are seeds to the Universe to answer what

you affirm. Thinking : I have enough MONEY. Saying : I have enough money.

Affirming it  = Makes it so.

You will start to experience a Abundance which has no lack.

You need to give away 10%  of what you make, anonymously or to someone in need,

give it…away.. I do.

Now, You are tapping into a deeper sense of Synchronicity, a time for sowing and

harvesting, a time of abundance.

Creating this paradigm for yourself is a Female energy, so if you are male dominant,

it is time to change your vibration. Change your diet, go for a massage / reiki, start

doing yoga, and definitely start meditating.

Meditation and Visualization is important, so imagine your reality, flowing with money,

flowing with abundance of every kindness.

You are your greatest asset, your energy transmits to the Universe what you want to attract.

You are a beacon of Light, if you are blocked, get unblocked. (come see me)

Tune into a Higher vibration of eating healthy, drinking water,

refrain from toxins and your  Universe and ability to create money will flow.

If you are stuck, email me :

This method of making money has worked for me.

Marketing : you know when coke (cooldrink) was invented, the Investors said

that the colour RED is the most important one to remember to the brain,

so they flooded the market with it = If you thirsty, drink coke

I cannot emphasis how important it is to market yourself,

everywhere, be passionate about you, most of all

believe in what you do.  I certainly do.

Happy manifesting.




Growing Pains


Growth is all about facing yourself, your emotions,

becoming friends with the pain, holding the yoga pose,

biting your tongue, holding your space and your energy.

Becoming a yogi, embracing self Mastery is hard.

The demands are to grow on  every level :

physical  : exercise, yoga, breathe work, weights

emotional  :  controlling your impulsive reactions, controlling your shadow

spiritual  : prayer, meditation, reiki, intention

It affects every aspect of my life, and it will affect those around me.

It has been 4 months of kicking my own ass.

Move. Walk. Do yoga. Do ki chung. Receive a treatment.

Rest, Redo.

Eating less is the hardest discipline to master. (for me)

Food has been my subduing method of comfort, my instant

love, my soother, my suppressor of emotions, hiding what I

truly feel.   Now, with this buffer illuminated, I feel vulnerable,

like I  have to embrace the grumpiness, I have to discipline

the need, the ache, the urge to binge eat.

To take control of how I feel, embracing the surfacing emotions,

addressing the root cause, the screaming inner child.

The adolescent who was never a teenager, the adult who

became a martyr.  Connecting the bridge, filling the void

with love, closing the hole, in becoming feminine, part of my own Oneness.

Self talk helps, breathing through what surfaces.

Discipline the sculptor of what I need to become.

The fat has been the protector, the comforter, the normal approach,

people easily judge you for it. They file you in the inadequate folder,

never really going deeper as to why?   Our brains are trained to see the

attractive / sexually attractive  person, the perfect shape, size,

curve, anything else is imperfect, criticised, judged, yet we live in

a broken society. Shallow is the normal, yet no one is perfect.

Healing is a journey, perfection is relative.

Does size matter when I hold your hand or give you a hug

or a smile or share laughter or look you in the eyes? NO

Do you measure your waist before you have a orgasm? NO

Do you kiss with a measuring tape at hand?  NO

Be who you are. Exclude : Shape, Size.

Start looking with your heart of Love!


Treasuring this human experience of Spirit.

Embracing all of it, even the growing pains. . .





I see all forms of disconnectedness.

A disconnection from mother to child,

from Lover to partner,

from husband to wife,

from employer to employee,

from Humans to Nature.

We are loosing touch of what is truly important to us,

our    H u m a n i t y.

Every person attached to the cell phone, taking videos of the

most horrific accidents for likes, while the human being in the picture,

waits for a ambulance, for help, for touch, for assistance.

Disconnected, what makes us human is we need Love, Touch, Attention,

connectedness to the Divine universe, our spouse, our family, our community.

Our humanity, our heart, our need to be touched, a minute to gaze into each

others eyes, undivided attention, a moment to hold your hand, a whisper to

soothe your fears, affirming your love, trusting your inner voice, your

female self to guide this path of  unknown steps.


 A need to speak my truth, without being judged.

So you can hear what I need. For your partner to hear what your

needs, desires, aches, urges are.

Instead of keeping things on repeat: eat, sleep, shower, shit, work.

We are designed to experience love and spirit.

Every fibre of our being needs it and we cling to the idea

that someone will hear our needs and wants, but you are

your own Saviour, your Own Light.

The devil we know, resides in the mundane, the routine, the

forgetting of what makes us magical, this life.

Love for ourselves, for our partner, for nature, for clean air,

for clean running water, living an aware and awakened life,

we cannot be less, but need to be more HUMAN.

Alive, Spiritual, Be ourselves, Whole, One,

in Sync with our Unique self.




Ignite your female self


I am a observer. I observe everything.

The way you move, with or without pain.

I notice your breathing.  I notice the words rolling off your tongue.

I notice you, your spirit, your body language, your look,

most of all, how do you house your spirit.

The world, Society, parents, teachers promote an intellectual

world of work hard, study hard, get the job, earn the salary,

be independent, this is a Male Driven approach.

I have heard this story, I too was raised to

believe this lie, which was spun for generations.

I became Male driven, work, work, work, do, be disconnected

from which makes me female, makes me vulnerable, makes me

aware of being a female, a vagina, having pms, hormones, menopause,

subdue the femaleness of myself.

I no longer live this paradigm. I have shifted to keeping my male and

female energy in balance. I practise yoga with deep breathes, opening my heart

to connect more with myself. I started meditating more, to use the infinite

power of abundance to create my life. I am becoming more disciplined to

master myself in my diet, my exercise, in gaining more knowledge about

the depths of being a woman.

Yes, I can be a warrior, but I can also be a Goddess of LOVE.

The male driven approach, also promotes quick fixes, the growing of a disease,

like cancer, if you keep subduing yourself, your emotional self will create

a disease which means, you will need to embrace being sick, and

dealing with your own female self, later on, this will take all of your courage to do.

Instead, change the approach, prevention is better than cure.

Nurture yourself with : yoga, meditation, chi kung, massage, reiki, journaling.

Keep Active : exercise, do weights, take your vitamins, drink water, eat less.

This world is filled with imbalance, in politics, in society, in marriages, in yourself.

Shift Your approach to love thyself and KEEP you healthy,

you are your greatest investment.




Being wanted . . .



What makes you shine, isn’t the shape you have.

Its the sound of your voice when talking to the cats, we all do it,

we baby talk to our pets, because they own us. They have become

our companions, our bottomless supply of unconditional love.

The shine of your smile lighting up your eyes, that sparkle that

can melt my heart. The kindness you show to others

the cunning charm and well spoken words rolling off your tongue.

You intrigue me, you always have. You stir me in so many ways.

I want to be a better me, mostly for you, I work harder, I want and

seek to be this person, you saw in me. You have moulded me,

you have shaped me, raised me and now I am your woman.

I want to own you. I want to live inside you, feeling that

endless safety net forever.  You are my world, but it is

to heavy so I will say, I love you and you mean so much to me.

You make my world a better place, you have filled up so much of

it, that I know, I will suffer as if my own arm is cut off, when you pass away,

but for now, I enjoy being with you.

Respecting. Honouring. Laughing. Sharing. Loving. Fighting with you.

Because my heart is yours, even though, I run from it, it is my truth,

there can only be one. It is you, now and even in death, I will find you and

we will stay connected because we are ONE.

For Now.

For Always.


A R S : Ask, Receive, Surrender

ask beach-surrender


Being a masculine driven female, I struggle to keep the balance

between overworking, overdoing, going back to default when

I overstep my own balance. I completely love what I do,

in fact, I get so filled with energy and the magic of spirit

that I become hyperactive for  2 days.

I have taken more precautions to stay tuned in with my

female energy, the nurturing, loving, understanding,

compassionate me. I ensure that I ask for a treatment,

and it is vital that I receive it and surrender.

I do this for myself, but also for my husband, who

has to live with my madness.  Having me out of balance,

really stretches every itch of who we are.

Anger, Fear, Impulsive bad decisions, Serious approach,

all which could be avoided by taking control of myself,

disciplining myself, so I stay connected to my female self

with exercise, yoga, weights, chi kung and meditation.

One key importance of any relationship is laughter,

a good communication, a treat of having a good meal, (not at home),

 and joy.

Rejoicing in the good and the bad moments, all of which are

part of the bigger growth of LIFE!

Taking control means balancing yourself, keeping your EGO

at bay – so you are not  a victim, a moaner, a groaner, a complainer.

You hold the power as a WOMAN, to manage your life and yourself.

Misery loves company, don’t let it overtake you.

Find your Joy everyday! Rejoice in your life.

Love yourself, your weight, your size, your shape, really doesn’t matter,

so don’t let it engulf your life and your self esteem!

Have fun!  Adults tend to become serious and destroy the joyful moments,

don’t do that to yourself. 

Write down your emotions, your feelings, your journey, once you get to know you,

it is easier to assess where the cracks are.

Be vulnerable, ask for help.

Receive it, don’t be a control freak, just accept it.

Surrender, asking for help, means you must let go . .  let the other person, help.

Be Assertive in who you are.

If you are feeling grumpy, say, I am grumpy, I am annoyed, I am irritated for no

apparent reason. Speaking your authentic truth, brings more understanding,

so you don’t bark up the wrong tree, OWN it.

Be specific  – use your power wisely, excuses are for those who want to fail,

You want to succeed on every level, so put in the work of


Disciplining you.

Living a Yogic existence.

Practise, Practise, being the person, you want to be.

Your True self.



Money : real, virtual, debt = c o n t r o l




Money has no vibration, it is not alive, it does not breathe, it has

no spirit, no essence, no life force, it is paper, it is fake, it is not what

it is, but what it can do for you, the want, the chase, the seeking, the

lack, the desire for it that consumes man.

 Money has not been real for me since leaving my job in 2007.

When I was 4 years old, R1 bought me a packet of simba chips,

a chocolate and a 20 c pac man game. Life was simple.

I did my chores and I was rewarded with R1 at the end of the week.

I was taught delayed gratification, discipline, dedication

and routine, it was a smooth flow.

Money felt real back then.

Now money feels non-real, fake,


We have lost our relationship with money, its become an object of want,

desire, a stirring of need, a forced control born from society.

A male driven ness of fear, a guillotining of force to work, to owe,

to be in debt, to buy the car and own a house, to spend the best

aspects of your day for a salary.

Work, home, Eat, Sleep.

A conditioning that becomes a box.

Completely unaware of spirit, disconnected from intuition and your

own gut feeling.

Swimming with the fish when all that is beautiful is forgotten.

A loss of connection as to what is real :







These cannot be bought. These cannot be earned.

Your sense of responsibility of owing someone money,

drives us to work and dedicate our life to a fake form of control.

Money is just seed, this is my relationship with money.

It enables me to live, the life I have chosen.

I trust in the Universe, to give me what I need.

I believe in the Divine synchronicity of LIFE.

There is a natural flow, not fear based.

Life and Death.

Abundance, are part of my universe.

I have lived debt free, since 2010, 6 years of no debt.

You are the source of your Universe.

Your vibration attracts what you need.

You emit energy.

Your emotions is energy in motion, like a beacon of light.

You are connected to the rain that falls.

You are connected to this earth.

As I am connected to you.

So, start living a spirit filled life.

See the beauty.

Practise the yoga, eat the healthy food, drink water, cleanse your body of

what no longer serves you.

Discipline the fear, do not sign on the dotted line,

take control of your finances, own it, swim upstream

and be aware of what you are creating.

Happy 2017, the year of the Rooster.


Judgment (Male driven) : Unity or Separation



When my ego takes over, due to my male dominated personality,

due to overwork, overdoing, over people pleasing, it gets pretty

Judgy on this side.

It brings forth separation and


a “them” against us,

or us “against them” attitude,  

which brings forth the duality of they are

“bad and I am good” scenarios,

a battle of opinions, belief systems,

and all kinds of ugliness start,

at this point.

Relationships ended, friendships broken, and separation

has taken place, a breaking of unity and harmony.

Then I take a breathe, as I can see this transpire within 60 seconds,

if I don’t shift my vibration to a compassionate,

soft and open hearted approach,

to a more female approach of understanding the other person,

their opinion, their processing of events, it is going to go to Sh*t!

Being judgmental, closes the heart and lets the ego which

is not interested in the light, but only darkness  – drama,

chaos, discourse, and separation takes control.

Once this has taken place, the chaos increases until

the seed of this comes to fruition = separation, unhappiness.

How to take control of this ?

be the observer of the madness, but don’t get sucked into it.

Practise discipline in doing yoga, exercise, thai chi, chi kung,

weights… start moving…..go for a walk,

push your body to uncomfortable zones.

Self talk is important  – sometimes you need to hear yourself, so as

to shift your energy to what is good for you.

Stay in your own skin – don’t take on, someones negativity, it is not your place.

Get grounded!  stay connected to Mother earth and stay rooted.

Practise Silence. Not everything deserves a answer right now.

Don’t take yourself so seriously. Lighten up with a funny movie.

Sing. Enjoy music often, sing . . .

Dance, move your body, it is your greatest gift.

LOVE!   love your life, love your body. love your spirit.

if you fail today – get Up and try again tomorrow.

All the great masters, practised self mastery, not to compete, but to

S e  l  f     Conquer! you.



Woman : Living a masculine male energy



Every single woman I have met has faced this same inner battle.

Allowing our male (masculine) driven energy to override our gentle female

driven energy, so we can juggle the demands, of life.

This combined with a pool of self sacrifice (martyrdom) of which transpires

when you don’t self love or nurture or take rest when your system is overtaxed.

You begin to realize that being “driven” in this male energy,  will not

manifest a Happy ending, the end will be a foreign disease popping up or

burn out.

It will then take every ounce of your energy to recover, however…

If you just took the nap of 20 minutes, when you needed it.

When you exercised, to clear your head.

When you did yoga to connect more with your female self.

When you ate chocolate, but went to walk anyway.

When you asked for help, when you needed a break from the kids or delegated

to your Mom or someone else.

Lets face it, the demands of being women today is endless, we work, we run a home,

husband and kids, you can easily become

bitter and resentful while walking this path.

My suggestions are the following :

Ask for help.

Go for a reiki / massage / counselling treatment : it will change your world.

Decide to have fun no matter what, obstacle appears.

Be a kickass mother and wife, be you, don’t let it just be a role, be yourself also.

Women, give your man a break, give him one night off a week to have fun,

just to be free also.                              The same would apply to you.

As  adults we value fun, play, dancing, freedom, joy,   LIVING as a whole but get stuck

in a rut when the Intellect ego governs our life and NOT our

Open Living heart of LOVE and Spirit.

Every Day start with a clean slate to affirm and to live WHO

you Are, a Beautiful spirit with amazing capabilities!

_________>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>  Lets do 2017 with a bang!



Touch c h a n g e s



The touch of your fingers holding the seed,

sowing it into the earth, with love and intention,

creates instant connection.

The harvesting of fruit : touch, stimulates the plant to grow and flourish add in reiki :

  and this makes the plant grow faster.

Every flower turns into a fruit, specifically made for us, this inter connectedness with nature,

to love, to nurture, to create,

we are part of the cycle of life, it is magical.

When someone holds us in a hug,

 we feel loved and nurtured, a feeling of bliss and belonging.

When someone nurtures us with massage, our body releases the old habits and starts

with a clean slate,

a new body filled with love, connected to the Divine feminine, a unique force,

it fills up the broken cracks with love.

Knowing your needs, your desires, your inner longings.

It engulfs what is unknown to bring forth a deeper awareness of Spirit.

Recognising that touch is the most pleasurable experience of love.

To bask in it, to enjoy this human pleasure without guilt, but

with an open heart of bliss.

Deeply relaxing into the peace of being,

a new beginning,

knowing touch has changed you.

You are awakened, your spirit is free.


  Practise : H o o Pono pono prayer :




S e r i o u s

20170110_142429 20170110_142448 20170110_142451 20170110_142929(only in Africa)


I have been debating with myself about purchasing a tablet, the benefit of

having a mobile tablet, is that I can write anywhere.

So, I found one at Ackermans and purchased it and found it to be faulty.

I returned it 7 days later but encountered so many funny human happenings.

I realized I am serious, I consider what I do so seriously, that I get wrapped up

in the spiritual world and completely forget to have fun.

My reaction to the faulty tablet would be one of anger, regret, but

I stood in Ackermans, waiting for Ayanda D the supervisor, calling the department

for a approval of my refund, I assisted him by “playing’ security guard to the

incoming shoppers, by taping their current plastic bags will a yellow

security tape,  so they would not be tempted to shoplift.

The body language, expressions, and complete surrender

to my authority of new found “security” guard, was amazing.

Frowns, Laughter, joy, smiles, giggles,  a willingness to chat to me was

overwhelming, but best of all, was changing the stereo type of all

security guards should be “black”. I enjoyed my afternoon adventure,

learning about people and cultures, we are all human after all,

we all want a home, a soul mate, something delicious to eat,

love, warmth, security, intimacy, the ability to be

ourselves, not restricted by religion, sexual orientation,

skin colour, upbringing, and most of all old belief

systems, we want to be free to be ourselves, human.

I spent the afternoon, laughing  . . .  at how much fun I had

in the shop, challenging yourself, step out of your box.



Hand print



I look at my hand imprinted on the blanket.

This hand has touched your soul, it went deep into your spirit and

balanced what others could not see.

It hears the voice of your inner child, adolescent and your adult self,

it moulded your spirit back into shape, it made it better.

Wholesome. Unique. Loved.

It ignited a  new you, the old mould was removed, like the washing of a dirty window pane.

You are refuelled by spirit, love, a deeper connection to yourself.

Your awakened, you can no longer look back, but only choose to move forward and

keep to your path. Your heart is open and gentle, your thoughts are slow and steady,

your breathe is eased and chilled.

Every cell in your body has waited for this moment of a balanced body,  mind, spirit.

Your life will never be the same, your soul is on fire.

Your perception has been altered.

The magic of massage and reiki revealed, the truth is now known.

In this complete moment, the female energy takes over, a call to nurture, love,

balance you becomes apparent and changes will impact YOU

 and those around you.

A new universe begins.

It starts with you.

Happy 2017 x x x






January  Reflections with Claire 


January reflections


January reflections

Christmas morning crept over the hillside misty and grey. On our mattress in the rafters of grass,  our daughter unwrapped her first fishing rod, and upended her Christmas stocking for the first time. We ate chocolate and mango amid the ruffles of duvet, then descended to clean dishes and wrap a few more presents. We ran late preparing to leave the house for my mother-in-law’s. Eventually we loaded Emma and presents into the car, napless and without a proper breakfast. I was eager to get on the road, to cover our toddler’s needs of food and sleep as much as for the sake of punctuality. The clamminess of the day itched me with the damp heat of December. We bumped down the dirt track, opened and closed two farm gates, and were passing the dam when she spotted the bramble bushes. The berries were ripe with sun under the cloud-wreathed sky. 

I sighed and unbuckled her from her carseat. Another stop. Another pause. Our lateness spread out from our silver sedan and trickled down towards the stream. I leaned against the car as I watched her forage with her father. She was wearing a billowing white shirt with a tiny pair of red shorts. Her head of pale brown curls reached halfway up my husband’s thigh. His face was hidden beneath a leather brim as his fingers picked gingerly through the thorned branches. I blinked and my world had become something new. I sighed again, but this time the breath that left my lips had altered slightly. I had moved from frustration to acceptance and then, with shifts inside smaller than the step of the ants across the pebbles at my bare feet, to joy. We had reached the end of the year, we were moving towards a celebration of the new, of hope, of change profound and decisive. What would I gain from a punctual arrival at Christmas lunch, and what would I lose? Here in front of me was all that mattered: my family, my love, and awareness of the present so precious and so fragile it is crushed by the mere passing of moments. What if this was my last moment? I asked myself. The filter of death had been a recurring theme for me in 2016. In Tibetan Buddhism, maranasati, or awareness of death, is considered the most important spiritual practice of all. It is the one that gives meaning to all the others. It comprises a conscious focus on three irrefutable truths: (1) Everyone dies. (2) Our time of death is uncertain. (3) At the time of death, only spiritual power will be of any use. I came across the idea of meditating on death in a book on business. This book, The Diamond Cutter, conveys a simple message: make the money, enjoy the money, and make sure it all means something in the end. It goes on to give specific advice on how to achieve these things. I recommend the book highly, especially for some novel understanding of the former two, but it was the later section which struck me deepest. It was here I learnt of the meaningfulness that death grants.

At first I was wary of maranasati. A cursory inspection of death is wont to inspire the washing out of meaning from our everyday pursuits. As do many in our culture, I previously avoided such morbid contemplations, steering my thoughts instead towards life and doing. The inevitability of death is something defeating. It is after all the ultimate defeat to which we are all subject. So what could it possibly have to offer the living? But although it made me uncomfortable, the idea of maranasati intrigued me. As the months wound past, I brought my thoughts gently back to death, opening the door to maranasati a little wider each time. As the authors of The Diamond Cutter point out, it is a sustained interest in death which brings us the most benefits.

The first effect was a clearing out of my spaces. I emptied cupboards and shelves, piling up everything that no longer served me, that no longer brought me joy, into bin bags and boxes. This decluttering brought a rush of lightness. It gained its own momentum. In three years, our house of three bedrooms, two living rooms, kitchen, pantry and garage had filled to the brim. What I did not throw away I passed on to our maid, and the farm bakkie left our home many times straining under its load. As the rooms emptied, I looked for more to lighten. My husband I decided it was time to hand over managing of the farm to someone else. It was time for us to move out of a home that had never really been ours, and into a space custom-designed for the life we wanted to live. And despite being parents and owning our own business, what we wanted was light and small and manageable. We wanted something that would nurture us, not exhaust us. So we built a home on a hillside, and are crafting each inch of it to reflect what we value, and let go of all the rest. And my notion of work morphed and shifted. All this decluttering of the unimportant gave me the space to reflect on the needs of those around me. Starting a school, an idea which had been in my dreams and thoughts for years, took root in the world. Time and again I remembered it was death that gave me the courage to grow something new. Because if death is coming in the end, and no-one could ever tell me when that end is nigh, what really do I have to lose? What is the real measure of the risks of following my vocation?

That strange lingering gap between Christmas and the eve of the New Year gave me some time to ask questions of this year in which my preparations would turn into happenings. What would I choose as the axis on which my coming year would turn? What was I going to leave behind and what was I journeying towards? I performed cleansing rituals, releasing the old and clearing space for the new. I put together a list of priorities: family, health*, purpose, art, and adventure. All the while the memory of our Christmas forage among the bramble bushes floated above my consciousness.

Brambles grow wild in the farmlands where we live. They conspire with the birds, who happily accept their offerings and carry their seed on their travels. With this ingenious and effective system of propagation they conquer far and wide. These invaders from another land spread their tenacious prickly arms along rivers and across fields. They confer in sheltered vales and beneath barbed-wire boundaries. They stand alone and fierce on windy hilltops. They take up grazing, snatch holes in clothing, and block up paths. Then, to make up for their seasons of obstinacy, for a few short weeks of the year they deck out their branches with purple-black treasure. Their luscious fruit dot the veld and pasture, freely available for all the creatures of their home to share in.

When I stood among these juicy glistening baubles on Christmas Day, the wind whispered across my skin. My daughter’s lips stained black and my husband’s laughter rolled down towards the water. My blood rushed with inspiration and my cheeks flushed with joy. We were a stone’s throw from our home, and we were the most intrepid of adventurers, indulging in a thrill of an ancient innocent sort. All that mattered was the moment warm between my palms; all the rest had drifted away. This pause on the hillside embodied my values, but it gave me even more than that. It painted the path towards living the life I dream of. Because this moment needed no forethought, no vast store of wealth, no special talents, no unusual stroke of luck. What it asked of me was simple. To have all I ever dreamed of I need to let myself be the kind of person who stops on the side of the road to pick wild berries. It may not be easy, but it is simple.

*This post was sponsored by Colleen of the Midlands House of Healing. Once a month her strong intelligent hands and sensitive spirit coax out meaning and wisdom and eventually words from my soul. Monthly therapy, in the form of massage, energy treatment, and the sou-searching that accompanies it, is a cornerstone of my commitment to health. When my mind, body and spirit are strong and clean and in balance, I am able to move forward with my other goals: to be present with my family, to support them in their own journeys, to live a life of purpose, to do what good I can, to feel the shiver of the divine in the expression of my art, to savor the miracle of life through a sense of excitement and adventure. Colleen is a skilled mentor in these endeavours, not only through her practice of massage and reiki, but also through her example as she works hard to live as the best version of herself. This year, journey to health and purpose and love and expression and vivacity with me. Embracing values that run counter to mainstream culture is challenging. Set yourself up for success by creating the conditions for meaningful moments. Book a massage (084 603 0604) or that check-up at the doctor, join a class, donate to something meaningful, purge your home, plant some seeds, volunteer your time and resources, read what inspires you, schedule in white space, and follow only those which make you better. Death is much too close for excuses.

Emotional Eating Cycle



When I am uncomfortable, I eat chocolate,

basically any emotion from tired, happy, sad, grumpy,

angry, scared, horny, disappointed, frustrated, I eat. . .

Every single emotion has led me to this space of conquering the 

old habits of reaching out to subdue what I feel.

I decided to feel the emotion and no longer subdue it.

We live in a society which views emotions as a vulnerability,

we are forced into a male driven system which  promotes

diseases with quick fixes. Sometimes a holistic approach is

needed. Food and eating is such a readily available option,

the addictive behaviour towards it is overlooked. 

We eat to nurture and love our bodies.

We eat to soothe the anger, to subdue whatever we 

need too survive, life.

To actually face what you hide, takes courage. 

As a empath, food is our go to option, it instantly soothes,

nurtures and gives love, a comfort we often need.

The sooth sayer within gets satisfied for a while and we

bury what we truly feel. 

After practising this for years, you begin to feel the 

weight gain, also realizing that absorbing negative energy

from others, makes your pants size grow also. 

We are so easily judged by appearance – shape – size – 

weight – to subscribe to such judgment is madness as I know, 

I am more than my waist size. The value of love and someone loving 

me,  far extends to the love curves I have. 

So, it concludes to this, Why? am I eating? 

Can I feel this emotion, embrace it and choose to love me and

then have my chocolate? or do I keep the bad cycle running

to only have my own self esteem affected by my own 

inadequacy to face myself, to heal my own darkness, to shine my 

own light upon this darkness which has become a shadow of who I truly am.

I walk into it and face which I need to, the pain, the rejection, the truth,

whatever emotion appears,

I CHOOSE TO embrace it, to love it, to release it, so 

I can continue to conquer and embrace who I am.

We are perfect in everyway, but the

imperfections drives us to conquer ourselves,

so we can take the next step,

completely confident of who we are,

to be better than we were yesterday.

Warrior of the Universe. 



Love : Carrying others emotionally…



Love?  this unconditional force that many talk about,

fantasize about, dream about, envision, but in real

life, the reality  is…LOVE is LOVE. We love nature, birds, trees,

plants, our partner, our pets, it is  an emotion which is felt.

Often, we feel the need to CARRY others, because they

won’t be able to cope otherwise, well this only creates Dependency

patterns and they NEED you, NEED is not LOVE. They

will only keep returning to you for attention, advice and help because

you have ENABLED them.  What to do? how to fix it…

You can DROP them energetically like a stone on the ground,

quit being their UNLIMITED supply of energy.

Next create a healing grid for him or her and send them healing.

(Write their name on a page – place rosequartz – 4 corners of page

(top, below, sides)

 and send them LOVE, but

disconnect from it, afterwards.)

Next, Guide them to listen to THEIR own intuition and

INNER voice of reason, if they are lost, send them for a

Reiki session to flip the switch.

Carrying someone is unhealthy for Your Body, Mind and SPIRIT.

I learnt to carry from a young age and I have identified why?

Because we have forgotten that with free will comes the

Responsibility of letting them fix it themselves, it

means they have the POWER to change and amend it,

if you keep doing it, this creates endless problems.

Respect them enough to PUT them down.

Assert yourself, by saying NO.

Make yourself happy.

Keep Journeying ON!



D i s c i p l i n e : Punisher or Sculptor

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Discipline has always been my punisher.

I was a brat and still I am a brat! I was punished for various amounts of things,

back chatting, being flippant, obnoxious, potty mouthed, I remember

once having to eat chillies because I swore and well down the chillies went.

I remember all the punishment I received, but that didn’t matter to me, because

I was rebellious, fierce, fiery, unruly, much like my hair, I just refused to be

tamed by anyone. (inside me, I knew my truth and what they spoke was bullshit)

Eventually, I played the role of good kid, I observed, I ratted on people,

and that soothed my rebellious side, I was the apple of my grandfathers eye

which meant, I was protected, from the evil gazes of sisters, cousins, aunts, etc.

Discipline was my punisher, I knew that at home and at school.

As I start to become older and wiser, I am learning to make discipline,

my sculptor.

Discipline should be my sculptor not my punisher anymore.

I am becoming gentler with myself which means, instead of

overeating to stop the ‘feeling” of being uncomfortable, I can

address the emotion and SPEAK up about my feelings.

Instead of SUBDUING what I feel, I can now, Act

on what I would like my body to be.

I started reading a Walking Chi KUNG book about CHI / Movements.

I met this amazing MAN who will be 60 years old next year

and he is as fit as a 20 year old, that speaks volumes, just his

positive outlook and inner mental capacity, blew me away.

I decided that I have been weak in my mental capacity and

that I need to become stronger, by disciplining every aspect

of myself.  Beginning a Self mastery Journey for 2017.

I now walk for a kilometre every 2nd day, I do yoga every 2nd  day,

weight training, toning training, jogging on the spot and becoming more

flexible with myself with MOVEMENT!

I have started saying no thank you to 2nd helpings of food, trying to

cut down my calorie intake, so my digestive fires can work better.

Learning to become mentally stronger means watching my MOUTH

and the words I speak, also keeping my energy close and not getting

sucked into anyone else’s story.

What I am observing is a stronger capacity to observe and

be disciplined with myself, the more I exercise it, the

stronger I feel within me.

CHI KUNG is about nurturing your inner self with movements

which makes you feel amazing.  I am loving it.

In using discipline as my sculptor, I have set a few goals for

2017 which with the use of Intention, Prayer, Meditation and

Inner peace, I will have the mental capacity to achieve it.

Discipline, the sculptor to mould me.

Discipline, to reach beyond my comforts.

Discipline, to step into the pain and address it.

Discipline, to let go of what NO longer serves me.

Discipline, Choosing my happiness, my journey.







2016 Chaos vs 2017 Order to come




Eight and a half years ago, I ran a branch as Regional administrator for

Tracker Network Cape Town, when I say ran, I went to work at 6am and

left at 4pm, sometimes working longer hours in  a day, to repair chaos,

to track stolen vehicles, and to save lives. I was married to my job.

The Order I learnt about running a branch, is the same for administering

your life. What is administering anyway?  Creating ORDER in the CHOAS.

I turned 40 years old this year and the realization of how good discipline

and order are actually good facets to have with yourself, kicked in.

Basically having a relationship with Yourself.

The way you treat you.

The way you handle your emotional self.

The way you handle your sexual self, your desires and wants, your needs.

The way you nurture and LOVE you.

The way you handle others and those close to you.

Being a person of GOOD character takes work.

Like Running any home! you need to budget for fuel, groceries, water, electricity, wifi, rent,

and any additional expenses like insurance and not forgetting the cell phone account.

We as woman, make it look easy.  We are good at creating Order!  it takes discipline

to initiate order but once it is in effect well, you reap the benefits daily.

Creating Order? Do you want to create it for 2017?

Clean out your cupboard, your wallet, your car, your desk. Give away what you don’t need.

Volunteer or give away your service to someone in need.

Give away 10% of what you earn every month.

Share what you have.

Be assertive and say NO!

Know your needs? if you need to rest, rest. If you need a good massage, book one.

If you need counselling? Book it.

Start a journal, get to know you!

Speak UP. Speak your truth.

Find pleasure in being WHO you are.

Delegate : Ask for HELP!  Don’t be a martyr.

Fun< PLAY ?  Create ?  Dance !   Remember to live Your Spirit.

Stop! the self sabotage  = Having sex without protection  = babies, So take precautions.

Forest Gump says :    Stupid is as Stupid Does.   if your intuition / GUT feeling tells you something,

ACT on it… is your Radar. Just listen and Do.

Study the course you always wanted! Do it.

Make the time for you, to complete your thoughts, to know who you are.

Decide to want to heal from the wounds, so you can be WHOLE. Find a good therapist.

Have orgasms with your partner, at least 3 times a week.

Read a good book.

Laugh at a funny movie.

Eat Chocolate!  Mouth gasm.

Do something You feared!

Have a date with you.

Do yoga. Drink the wine.

Most of all decide to be you…in  2017! the authentic, Beautiful,

unique, special, gorgeous, flamboyant self,  YOU!

Happy 2017 and May we continue to Journey!!! Together….



The good kid : A empath’s view



I sit under the tree, I breathe a sigh of relief,

No adults,

or kid sister, just me and my thoughts.

I watch the ants go by. I listen to the leaves rustle in the wind, peace.

No responsibility!  Freedom for me! yay! I love these moments I create for me.

There is a endless list of chores to do at home,  “take care of your sister” look after her,

keep her out of trouble”,  feed the dog, water the garden.

I learnt to run away, run to the neighbour, go to the shop, buy this or that.

I am the responsible one, I listen to my elders, I am the goodie two shoes,

I don’t see it as a gift but more of a punishment.

Because I am good, I am treated differently, the “bad” kids get help

with everything, I am left to my own devices, to raise myself,

to listen to their words of truths, regret, bitterness, anger, “if only’s”,

its like the warnings of pregnancies, kids, are imprinted into me and even

though I love kids, I know, I wont have any of my own.

I go to bed tired, tired of being the “good” kid because tomorrow is

another day filled with chores, instructions, school, homework, study,

fetch my sister and so on, another day!

I know this is NOT how it is supposed to be.

I want to be free to do the bad also, not because I am bad, but

because I need to grow up without your judgment,

into the frame of LOVE, which is absent.

I recognise this is not normal, I recognise, I am different

and I choose to love me anyway because you have no love,

not even for you.



Letting G O

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Wise words by Eckhart Tolle :

Let Go Of Frustration with Yourself/Your Life

  1. Learn a new skill instead of dwelling on the skills you never mastered.
  2. Change your perception—see the root cause as a blessing in disguise.
  3. Cry it out. According to Dr. William Frey II, PH.D., biochemist at the Ramsey Medical Center in Minneapolis, crying away your negative feelings releases harmful chemicals that build up in your body due to stress.
  4. Channel your discontent into an immediate positive action—make some calls about new job opportunities, or walk to the community center to volunteer.
  5. Use meditation or yoga to bring you into the present moment (instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future).
  6. Make a list of your accomplishments—even the small ones— and add to it daily. You’ll have to let go of a little discontentment to make space for this self-satisfaction.
  7. Visualize a box in your head labeled “Expectations.” Whenever you start dwelling on how things should be or should have been, mentally shelve the thoughts in this box.
  8. Engage in a physical activity. Exercise decreases stress hormones and increases endorphins, chemicals that improve your state of mind.
  9. Focus all your energy on something you can actually control instead of dwelling on things you can’t.
  10. Express your feelings through a creative outlet, like blogging or painting. Add this to your to-do list and cross it off when you’re done. This will be a visual reminder that you have actively chosen to release these feelings.

Let go of Anger and Bitterness

  1. Feel it fully. If you stifle your feelings, they may leak out and affect everyone around you—not just the person who inspired your anger. Before you can let go of any emotion, you have to feel it fully.
  2. Give yourself a rant window. Let yourself vent for a day before confronting the person who troubled you. This may diffuse the hostility and give you time to plan a rational confrontation.
  3. Remind yourself that anger hurts you more than the person who upset you, and visualize it melting away as an act of kindness to yourself.
  4. If possible, express your anger to the person who offended you. Communicating how you feel may help you move on. Keep in mind that you can’t control how the offender responds; you can only control how clearly and kindly you express yourself.
  5. Take responsibility. Many times when you’re angry, you focus on what someone else did that was wrong, which essentially gives away your power. When you focus on what you could have done better, you often feel empowered and less bitter.
  6. Put yourself in the offender’s shoes. We all make mistakes, and odds are you could have easily slipped up just like your husband, father, or friend did. Compassion dissolves anger.
  7. Metaphorically throw it away. For example, jog with a backpack full of tennis balls. After you’ve built up a bit of rush, toss the balls one by one, labeling each as a part of your anger. (You’ll need to retrieve these—litter angers the earth!)
  8. Use a stress ball, and express your anger physically and vocally when you use it. Make a scrunched up face or grunt. You may feel silly, but this allows you to actually express what you’re feeling inside.
  9. Wear a rubber band on your wrist and gently flick it when you start obsessing on angry thoughts. This trains your mind to associate that type of persistent negativity with something unpleasant.
  10. Remind yourself these are your only three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it. These acts create happiness; holding onto bitterness never does.

Let Go Of Past Relationships

  1. Identify what the experience taught you to help develop a sense of closure.
  2. Write everything you want to express in a letter. Even if you choose not to send it, clarifying your feelings will help you come to terms with reality as it is now.
  3. Remember both the good and the bad. Even if appears this way now, the past was not perfect. Acknowledging this may minimize your sense of loss. As Laura Oliver says, “It’s easier to let go of a human than a hero.”
  4. Un-romanticize the way you view love. Of course you’ll feel devastated if you believe you lost your soul mate. If you think you can find a love that amazing or better again, it will be easier to move on.
  5. Visualize an empowered single you—the person you were before meeting your last love. That person was pretty awesome, and now you have the chance to be him or her again.
  6. Create a space that reflects your present reality. Take down his pictures; delete her emails from your saved folder.
  7. Reward yourself for small acts of acceptance. Get a facial after you delete his number from your phone, or head out with friends after putting all her things in a box.
  8. Hang this statement somewhere you can see it. “Loving myself means letting go.”
  9. Replace your emotional thoughts with facts. When you think, “I’ll never feel loved again!” don’t resist that feeling. Instead, move on to another thought, like “I learned a new song for karaoke tonight.”
  10. Use the silly voice technique. According to Russ Harris, author of The Happiness Trap, swapping the voice in your head with a cartoon voice will help take back power from the troubling thought.

Let Go Of Stress

  1. Use a deep breathing technique, like ujayii, to soothe yourself and seep into the present moment.
  2. Immerse yourself in a group activity. Enjoying the people in your life may help put your problems in perspective.
  3. Consider this quotation by Eckhart Tolle: “Worry pretends to be necessary but serves no useful purpose.” Questioning how your stress serves you may help you let it go.
  4. Metaphorically release it. Write down all your stresses and toss the paper into your fireplace.
  5. Replace your thoughts. Notice when you begin thinking about something that stresses you so you can shift your thought process to something more pleasant, like your passion for your hobby.
  6. Take a sauna break. Studies reveal that people who go to sauna at least twice a week for ten to thirty minutes are less stressed after work than others with similar jobs who don’t.
  7. Imagine your life ten years from now. Then look twenty years into the future, and then thirty. Realize that many of the things you’re worrying about don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.
  8. Organize your desk. According to Georgia Witkin, assistant director of psychiatry at Mount Sinai School of Medicine, completing a small task increases your sense of control and decreases your stress level.
  9. Use it up. Make two lists: one with the root causes of your stress and one with actions to address them. As you complete these tasks, visualize yourself utilizing and depleting your “stress supply.”
  10. Laugh it out. Research shows that laughter soothes tension, improves your immune system, and even eases pain. If you can’t relax for long, start with just ten minutes watching a funny video on YouTube.

It’s a long list, but there’s much left to be said! Can you think of anything to add to this list—other areas of life where we need to practice letting go, and other techniques to start doing it right now?

Photo by Katie Romanova

B r o k e n



Forget everything you know.

Forget the people who shaped your believes, your

schooling, your religion, your job, your intellect.

You have been taught to the make the “right” decisions,

to self sacrifice, to work hard, to keep chasing the dangling

carrot of success.

What does a successful day look like to you?

To me, it is waking up at the crack of dawn, having a cup of tea,

feeding my cats, taking time to pray, visualize, do yoga, go for walk,

harvest the vegetables in the garden. I feel connected to the Universe,

I have joy and gratitude in my heart, this is what NO money can buy me,

peace. I am debt-free, I am supported by the Universe.

I was not always happy or joyful or loved. I spent 22 years of my life

feeling lost, see I was disconnected from my spirit, I was not

serving my Higher Purpose, I was broken.

The pain, the scars, the lessons that sculpted my life, has

made me who I am, every aspect was destined for me.

I learnt to LOVE, myself, I grew into acceptance,

tolerance, wisdom, a deeper understanding of who I am,

putting the puzzle of me, back together, remembering

SPIRIT, remembering my destiny.

Many people live off : = Amplifying it with Moaning and Complaining . . .

The Pain, drama, negativity, hurt, scars, wounds, trauma,

all I can say is,  this is a loveless way to live!

Find a good therapist to change and shift your vibration

with reiki and massage and counselling, so you can start to heal.

When you are stuck in this low vibration, you just attract more of the

same negativity, lack of abundance, lack of love! debt, and bottomless troubles.

Lets choose healing instead, no matter how hard,

the Decision rest with you, to choose and be

responsible for you. You are the source of Light.

You hold the  key to living a fulfilled life.

You can choose Love and Forgiveness.

Becoming a WHOLE you.

You Decide.



Fountain of you. . .



I sat at the fountain of my life.

The water is blue and white, crisp and clear.

I observe my memories, every now and then, I can see the shadows fall upon me.

I see the pain, the hurt, the scars, the healed aspects of me.

Clearly the negative no longer matters, because I have healed from the pain.

I have connected to myself, the shinning light within,

I love myself and care for me, and this has changed who I am.

I surrendered my egos need for drama and pain. I surrender.

I place my feet in the water, I feel a wholeness of me  – complete.

I feel the longing no more, I am sated. I feel at peace, at ease.

No longer the battle of the two flames at war, the male and female

energies sit side by side, holding hands, moving in one unified shape.

No longer the fight of wills.

A flowing of spirit. A embracing of the present moment.

A gentleness which only Love can bring with the breeze on my face.

At last the moment has come where doubt has been replaced with confidence.

A belonging, a journeying, a unique path of truth and healing.

I sit quietly inhaling all of it, offering you a glass of the magic,

find your space, find your spirit, find someone to help you

on this journey, becoming who you were meant to be…

A Whole  you.


P l e a s u r e of being a woman



I have been walking a softer path, I don’t recognise this path as I step forward,

because I haven’t been here before, I guess if I am honest,

I subdued it, I ran from it, I became the stronger sense of me,

a male driven woman, but I know the time is now to embrace the pleasures

of being a woman.

Like coals in the fire, the embers burn beneath me, to bring forth more of me.

I walked in the rain this morning, it gave me great joy to feel this freshness,

to smell the rain.

I picked berries, spinach, alfalfa, marrows and zucchini, it gave me such

joy to be part of harvesting and foraging in the garden.

I took my vitamins and drank my smoothie and green juices and I felt nurtured and loved.

I cleaned out my heart and forgave, and sang as I listened to my music,

and felt the joy flow from my heart.

Every moment can be a pleasure, woman, have longed and suffered, but the time

is now to become more feminine, woman like, free from what limits you.

We have the pleasure of having 50 to 100 orgasms in a shag session! men  = 1.

We have the pleasure to create new life, to sew, to cook, to mend, to create our

reality with our thoughts, our words, our actions = Lets do it.

We have the pleasure of getting excited about life!

To dance, To sing, To be free with our spirit.

We have the pleasure of being Highly Intuitive, Spiritual, Born Healers, Empaths,

lets celebrate our abilities of being clairvoyant, psychic, and Spirit Conscious.

We have the pleasure of running homes, raising families, unity,

bringing forth peace, reconciliation, less do that!

We have the pleasure of dressing up with colour, ribbons, make up,

dresses, lets STOP trying to fulfil a male role!

I for one, I don’t have penis envy, I am happy with my v jay vjay, thanks!

We have the pleasure of having fun!  Joy, Laughter, Excitement, all of which are

fruits of being ONE with your OWN spirit.

We have the pleasure of believing in the GOOD, we can practise a spiritual

meditation, we can pray or visualize! Lets do that and become more focused.

We have the pleasure of being a woman, in an age of freedom,

ONEness, we can be wild and free.

We have the pleasure of enjoying, who we are.

We have the pleasure of MOVING, shaking your body, doing yoga

and drinking wine.

We have the pleasure of taste, touch, see, smell, lets enjoy what we have.

We have the pleasure of nurturing ourselves, with a warm bath or a hot cup of tea,

lets enjoy it. Lets learn and read more,   g r o w I n g WITHIN!

Society is driven by a Male orientated focus, corporate money making drab,

self sacrificing persona, the endless rat race!

lets stick it to the MAN! and show them

who the true boss’s of this Age and Universe, is!

We are woman! We will experience pleasure in everything,

we will love who we are, whatever shape, size, weight, we are

free to be ourselves, because we have POWER

in who we are! and we have a vjay vjay! which

makes each one of us, as unique as our thumbprint,

because we are born to be different!

Lets celebrate it!