Disconnecting from an energy vampire



What is a  energy vampire?

Someone who keeps creating drama in their life, so they can contact you

as a empath to : 1. get sympathy   2. get free healing sent to them if you practice reiki

3. live off your attention and love, as they have no self love.

4. Needy person wanting energy, attention, drawn with negativity intention :

emotional blackmail : guilt.

How does 1 get rid of such a person or address addictive behaviour ?

  1. write their name on a piece of paper : put in a jar…add blue coloured water to the jar  :
    Speak: I freeze the negativity of this person out of my life and disconnect from them.
  2. put salt around your house and don’t allow them in.
  3. Take a page and write down your anger, disappointment and negative feelings toward them and forgive and bless them – BURN the page. Forgive you and CHOOSE to move forward.
  4. Write the name on a page.. on the back of it..write your name…put a colour circle around you and glue to place salt around you..when dry. Fold the page. Wait.
  5. Take a salt and mphepho bath for 3 nights, say: I now cleanse myself in body, mind, spirit and also place the water in the HOLE.
  6. You need to dig a hole. Place the bath water in it, a jug for each night.
  7. On the 4th day, place the page in it and bury it. Say: I now disconnect from this person and seek no contact.
  8. Visualize pressing a DELETE button and return to them no more.
  9. Thoughts, feelings, emotions = when you experience negative thoughts about this person, you give them the space to return. So say: I forgive, Bless them. I choose to heal from this. I have learnt and I am grateful. Keep affirming this.
  10. Clear out emails, texts, pictures – delete it.
  11. Address the issue of your poor judgment : being naiive and thinking you could help or save them. Forgive yourself.
  12. Say I love myself to protect myself and not be harmed by this person, so I decide to be free and whole. I am healed from this experience. Thank you.
  13. Do a detox of eating only fruit, raw juices, smoothies, a cleanse to touch base with you.
  14. Purging : drink salt water and puke…saying I rid my body of this connection.
  15. It takes a strong character to address, confront and do this disconnection, it will free blockages and  you will instantly feel a release, so cry your heart out. Be sad but know..you are healing you.
  16. True strength lies in addressing your pain. I know your heart will ache but you need to say. I close my heart to this chapter of learning. I have learnt and choose to heal. Closed is my heart to this, it is done.
  17. LOVE you. You have a big heart of unconditional love, you keep hoping, you keep believing and know love, truth, wisdom, will guide you.
  18. Use a Stainless Steel knife to cut the auric cords from your aura. Go for Reiki also.
  19. Visualize mirrors around you, so they will reflect any negative intentions back to the person itself.
  20. Like any addictive behaviour, staying in a addictive drama filled relationship is like a heroine addict,  no  matter how strong you want to quit, you have go cold turkey and sweat out the negative toxin and endure pain and suffering to overcome it, without going through the pain of disconnecting from you, you only want your next fix, so stop this in its tracks. Realize that you love yourself enough to endure the pain and grow and learn from it.energy-vampire-2

Knowing your partner



Know your partner.

Know your partner, like the back of your hand.

Be aware of the scars, they carry,

know the special marks on their hand. Know every single aspect

of their being.

Many people including myself want a “magical” relationship

where your partner can intuit your thoughts, your needs,

and your desires.

How to create a sacred union with another being?

Observe your partner, his or her walking or breathing. Listen to them sleep.

Watch the way they move, with pain or with ease.

Watch their emotions, what triggers them, what soothes them?

How to emotionally support them when stressed, when to give support

but not carry your partner.

Every relationship is different, but what we seek is a SPIRITUAL LOVE Connection.

Someone we can be vulnerable with, to share our deepest and to share our darkest.

As you know the back of your hand, get to know your partner.

Know what they need : for example :

When you can assist and do his chores.

Or put a towel next to the bath for him or her.

Or know when they need a foot rub, a hug or a kiss or a good shag.

We are human and we have needs : physical, emotional, sexual, intellectual,

we need to nurture a sacred bond of a partnership, which comes with work,

the bond of LOVE is certainly worth, the work.

So, if you feel you are on different planets, schedule a reiki session together,

and I will gladly synchronise your auras which makes a HUGE difference,

to flow as ONE!  Connected to the UNIVERSE.


Wrong . . .


Dear body,

I am sorry. I am sorry for the neglect, the fatigue, the

overworking, I was wrong. I thought in giving, you don’t need to

receive. All the courses I attended forgot to mention the importance

of receiving. I was wrong. I have taken time out of blogging

and attended to some of my needs as a person.

I did a cleanse, a detox of all the old stuff, the things you cannot

control. I took stock of myself, the introspection of my being.

I love receiving massages, I am a touchy feely person, and I love it.

I also love giving massages, so much!

I believe we were all raised into a society which promotes

neglect, over giving, overworking and  a diseased body,

because this is the natural result of a lack of nurturing and self love.

A disease manifest and we expect a doctor to create a quick fix,

when actually it is a INSIDE job of shifting your Awareness to

a HIGHER level of being with yourself.

Addressing what you don’t want to face, the pain or the neglect,

the realization that we inflict it upon ourselves for whatever reason.

After having received so many awesome treatments over the past few weeks,

I hereby promote to everyone to receive a massage/ healing / reiki or

go for counselling  and so you begin to heal on the inside by

receiving and it changes your perception to a HIGHER vibration and

You become kinder, loving, more YOU, in the most softest, go wee, fluffy way.

LOVE!  We all need it . . . so book your massage often…even if you are

a therapist… Receiving the magic. . .  is what we live for.


Emotions : I feel is not a weakness



Having emotions is NOT a Weakness, it is your human right to FEEL!


Emotions. We are taught to feel only the positive, when we feel LOVE,

Joy, Happiness, Peace, Fulfilled, Satisfied.

The Negative emotions we are taught to subdue them, they shouldn’t surface.

Emotions like depression, Anxiety, Anger, neglect, disappointment, aggression,

fear, vulnerability, hurt.

It easier to send an emotion emoticon that to admit if someone has hurt your

feelings or overstepped your boundaries.

The problem with this lies  in the following : We become accustomed to living a

dualistic lifestyle of good and bad and not taught to feel and address

and confront our own emotions of being human.

We are conditioned to only feel the “good” and the bad is bad and not

spoken about.

If we could change these aspects to a more holistic approach.

Feel the feeling, acknowledge it, accept it, forgive or bless it, release it.

It is also about having a relationship with yourself, knowing your

own flaws and merits, and knowing that you love you, and

that you have got YOUR own back.

This being said, when we chose to overwork, accept self neglect as the normal custom of

being imbalanced, our bodies will then step into a self sabotaging pattern of

disease, illness, sinus, coughs, aches, pains, injuries and this will impact on our life dramatically.

So, to make you a more whole you, lets start with some Nurturing aspects to practise:

  1. read a book.
  2. make tea instead of coffee.
  3. smoke every 3rd cigarette.
  4. drink water, raw juices, smoothies.
  5. Take medication if you have to, and vitamins.
  6. go to bed early,  8pm.
  7. Exercise and move your body.
  8. start a yoga journey.
  9. clean out your cupboard, your wallet, your car.
  10. toss what you don’t need, including friendships that drain you.
  11. say NO instead of YES.
  12. Sit in the SUN.
  13. go for a walk
  14. Forgive and Forget
  15. Take the time to speak up when you feel uncomfortable.
  16. Form uplifting friendships and connections.
  17. accept being different as a plus not a minus, keep the shine on.
  18. Speak your truth to you, Acknowledge you as a person.
  19. Listen. Listen. NOT to reply, but to understand.
  20. have compassion for you.
  21. Cultivate having a STRONG but gentle spirit.
  22. Choose your battles wisely. Let people know you are a forceful fire spirit.
  23. throw the doormat away, the one others used…for you.
  24. feed your spirit : meditate. breathe. be.
  25. play music everyday. SING. Dance. bring more joy into your life.
  26. have sex (safe sex) – whenever you can.
  27. romance your partner. Do his or her chores for a day.
  28. enjoy a delicious meal, get messy, eat with your fingers.
  29. eat a ice cream cone at home, feed your inner child.
  30. laugh.
  31. wear COLOURFUL clothes. Draw. Play.
  32. Put the coffee and alcohol aside.
  33. Self sebatoge, Disappointment  – Practise looking from the heart, not your head.


Cutting the blood ties : A deeper cleanse




Over the past 4 weeks, I have seen a doctor, a reflexologist therapist, a Physiotherapist

and a Shaman.  WHY ? You ask?  Well I feel its time to get me more into shape.

Emotionally, Spiritually, Physically, Intellectually.

Accessing a deeper level of myself, my Female self which I hide well.

I can give unconditional love but I do have trouble accepting love.

It stems from my parents, see I was rejected the moment I was conceived,

my mother tried her best to smoke me to death, so I was born prematurely by 2 months,

I almost died and well, the instant my father heard about me, he disappeared.

Rejection, Abandonment, Hurt, Needy, Vulnerability these are all the emotions I

buried, until now. I realized that as a empath, I have made excuses for both of them,

I carried them, I hoped, I romanticised, I created a utopia that one day, that we would live

happily ever after, alas, it is not to be so.

A shaman did a bone throwing for me, which highly advised me that I disconnect from

both of them, for various reasons. Truth is my grandparents raised me and strangers

taught me what I needed to learn.  They unfortunately, did not possess the LOVE, I needed to

become who I am.  So, I cried my heart out last week Thursday, I awoke with a plan of what

and how to end this nightmare connection.  A connection which has only caused me heartache and

depression. I will do the different ceremonies this week as per the shaman, start a disconnection process because

as vulnerable and uncomfortable as this is, it is needed and necessary and part of my path.

I will be clearing the connection to appease the ancestors on my fathers side who are dark,

so, I can fully step into my path, and disconnect from these obstacles.

Interesting hey!  until it is your story. . . . Definitely, had to reign in myself and not take

any of this personally, and accept that this is a weak spot of vulnerability, and address it,

step into it, and Forgive and Release it, and become more of me.

Sometimes we can choose our fate.

Sometimes it is already pre destined.

Sometimes, we can fix it, but sometimes we just need to let go.

Sometimes, forgiveness can cover a mountain of sin.

Sometimes, the imperfect, can create good.

Sometimes, the pain is released and LOVE is revealed.

Journeying on. . .


Skilled hands



I am lying on my own massage bed. I have waited years, minutes, hours, days

for this moment. The moment where the skilled hands will follow the contours

of my body. He will read what I do not speak. He will repair what others

cannot see. He will fix what we all hide, pain.

The use of my body is endless, walking, massaging, gyming, past injuries, yoga,

we endure, we continue, we wait for the perfect hands, to heal our bodies.

I am sure, I am that to many. But like many, I want the magic, I seek

not just the healing, I want the magic, the tenderness of being touched.

I want those hands to read my story, and soothe the ache, knowing it will be ok.

This touch will make it all good again, it will reboot the switch I have inside,

and change me. I will feel goo wee, like moosh, whole, relaxed, at ease and

nourished as only a healing repair massage/ physio session can be.

I loved it, it made me feel whole again, his thumb fingerprints stayed for 24 hours,

later, the release of the aches, and the joy of moving returned.

I am thankful for these hands, who healed my body, and I welcome you to

let me read your body, let us go on a journey within, to heal what you do not share,

lets step into it, and lets become whole and amazing!


Letting go, of India, (Auroville) my utopia



I have a mental bucket list,  and on it, is one more trip to India, however, as

I begin to investigate the logistics of it and the planning, the budgeting of it,

I become more stressed out.  The first thing is that I have travel for 24hours, a whole day,

which now would FEEL like forever. I have been to Indian 3 times, in 2008, 2009-10 and

2013. I went to explore and find my TRUE self, which I have.

I met amazing people and I have kept these friendships alive,  going the extra mile and all.

I realize that I actually LOVE my life and space where I am.

I feel I have waited all of my life for this moment, for this space,

where I am able to  help others heal and grow, and slowly,

I am seeing the impact on other peoples lives, which is the



New babies are being born.

People are healing on their journey.

People are getting engaged.

Going on Inner realization journey.

Stepping into the UNCOMFORTABLE zone of Living a SPIRIT filled LIFE,

it is amazing to be the observer of all of this.

I love it!

It then dawned on me that, I don’t want to go to India!

I want to wake up in this space.

I want to be here to exercise, to do yoga, to stay in this space and continue

with what I am doing, my purpose.

I want to snuggle with my cats.

I don’t want to miss out on any of it, this life.

So, goodbye India for now… I will put you on ICE because, I know you will return again

and You will wait for me to be ready.

Here, Now! I decide and choose, my Reality!  and LOVE It with all my heart.


The Aquarius Curse


So if you didn’t know, yes I am a Aquarius, a Air sign, not a water sign.

We bare water for all who thirst, we also give you the space to be yourself.

We instantly dislike Gemini’s, Taurus, Scorpio’s, we don’t get on…..

not to mention Dark Aquarians. (All of this takes 5 seconds to happen)

We see others, not as they are, but as they could be… whole, shinning, loved, unique,

we have the instinctive intuition, to help to make YOU WHOLE!

From the age of 4, I knew I was different. When  I was pushed on the playground and

went home with bloody knees, I would say it was a accident. When I was a teenager and

a bully pushed me down a flight of stairs and I bounced like a ball, I said, I tripped.

You can see the pattern, we never want to admit that there are BAD people out there,

but being a VICTIM and choosing this pattern, creates more of it, I have many scars

to proof it. Aquarians are humanitarians, we want to serve the HIGHER GOOD.

We have a HUGE expectation for ourselves and others to do good, and we face

constant DISAPPOINTMENT every day :

In friendships as we have high standards. (its sacred man)

In a relationship with parents. (they should ve done better)

In our own relationship because we give and expect the best.

As you can see the pattern has been created.

Aquarians will save you, at great sacrifice and take the wound personal because

we want everyone to be happy and live in peace.

Being a EMPATH and a aquarian is hard, everyday, I am uncomfortable facing

my truth and speaking it, voicing what I need and letting the little girl on the inside be free.

Deleting self pity and letting go of the wounds which only cause me harm.

I love easily, I care even easier, I remember every hurt, every emotion, everything literally

and I want this world to be a better place.

So I will keep hoping, keep pushing but..then I discovered narcissist and sociapaths and

energy vampires and I was like …..WOW!!! stop the bus.

I have to exercise my discipline with myself so I don’t get depleted or drained because

we are givers, we have a big heart for everyone…even if its the homeless guy or the

injured animal. We walk with a deeper sense of humanity and a greater responsibility.

I have learnt to be a warrior of light, to speak up, to be uncomfortable and to do

the things I even dislike… as this is part of MY OWN personal growth path.

GONE is the doormat Colleen, hello to this fiery woman warrior who has choice,

who has decided to be herself, no matter what.

I Chose to LOVE myself as I am. I make me happy because….I can, and so can you!



Image result for aquarius


A vocation

A Vocation (www.growingfree.co.za)



Last week, I launched my new school. I call it a ‘school’ because it is a place where children will come to learn, but it is unlike any school most of you have known. It is based on the principle of natural learning (also called life learning and unschooling), where children are trusted to learn from their real life experiences and from making their own choices.

I don’t know when the seed for this idea was planted, but in the last few years and months it has grown at such a rapid pace I feel a little dwarfed by my own dream. It is now a real physical space and I’m meeting real children and parents discovering how we will work together. I could have planned for a few more years. I could have found a few more obstacles to stall me. But the need inside me pressed and pressed, and the need I saw around me squeezed and squeezed until the path in front of me narrowed to such an extent that there was only one way to walk forward with sure steps. My gait is sure not because this way is without uncertainty. Indeed, it is shrouded and misty, and the future waits somewhere beyond the bends. But I am guided by a voice deeper than my own, deeper than those of society. I feel called, and finally, after a few years of feet shuffling in the leaves, of head bowed to my own desires, I am responding.

Vocations are in general I believe, linked to what we enjoy, to our passions. But they also carry a heavy weight of responsibility. Vocations are never indulged in for pleasure alone, but to make some important difference in the world, be it in brick-laying or business. So we often feel reluctant to follow our vocations. They demand difficult and uncomfortable transitions, and hard work to stay on the path. They might not bring happiness, but they do usually bring peace, fulfillment, and the cessation of avoidance. Colleen of the Midlands House of Healing* is someone steeped in this kind of peace. It is her vocation to help others find theirs. She does so with integrity and effort. She has a deep respect for the responsibility her gifts carry. They are not hers to use for only her own gain, or to secret away. She is who she is for a purpose.

The energy work Colleen has been performing on me for little over a year has helped clear away doubts and open up channels of strength that were always mine but were hidden. Little by little she has made it clear to me what I am capable of. With the knowledge of my own power came the responsibility to exercise it. Once my eyes were opened, I had to see. And what I see is children being coerced into moulds which don’t fit. They are being asked to bend until they break. And I see how few options are open to the children in our community. Some are bowed beneath the burden of too many expectations. Others are hobbled by the lack of them. Half of all South Africans live in poverty. Their access to education is almost non-existent. They will never read these words or any like them. Their ability to effect change is constrained. You who read this have a world of choices, a depth of privilege that is hard to fathom. And although we are not poor, the problem of poverty is ours to own just the same. How can we slice into the cycle which keeps each generation trapped into the tight circle of possibility handed to them by their parents’ circumstances?

It would be easier for me not to try something new. It would be easier for me to stay quiet and tucked into my own little world. I am just one small person after all. But it is just this truth which has given me the courage to try. Because I was never going to fix the world. All I can ever control is myself. My thoughts, my actions, my intentions. My vocation. We can each only ever do our part. But what if each one of us actually did?

*Colleen of the Midlands House of Healing sponsored this post. She and I made an exchange between us which left us both richer. To engage in the work of your calling book a session with her on 084 603 0604. Through my school Growing Free I offer you a chance to share in such abundance. I am looking for sponsorships for the children of local farm workers to attend our self-directed learning centre. Fees are R800 per month. Please contact me if you would like to join us on this journey (c.raciborska@gmail.com).




Narcissist, sociopath and the empath} for future healers. . .



Based on a true story.  Story #1

Once upon a time, there was a naiive healer promoting herself to all who would listen, little did I know the lesson, I would learn here.

It started with an innocent reiki session scheduled by the narcissist boyfriend, for his girlfriend, and it grew into everyday visits. I realized due to her fragile mental state after her divorce, her dependency on cocaine and her responsibility to her 2 girls, that I would give her a reiki attunement, a clean slate. I carried her karma for 6 weeks.  The first 3 months, she blossomed and then her boyfriend returned and so did the cocaine addiction.


The next 3 months was hell, she sapped a lot of energy and I could feel her slipping down the dark path, wanting to help and serve, I gave it my best shot. Six months later, the end of 2009, I had been drained of my life force, I needed to go to India to get rebooted and healed. That December, her boyfriend visited us, only to look me in the eye and say, I saw you and you were a easy target, so I led her to you, so she could sap you and I could go on my adventure without her. My heart sank and I told him, did you never think of her kids? I forgave him and I forgave her. I realized, I cannot save anyone, they need to want to be heal themselves. I am just the vessel. I must protect me at all cost. I will not venture down the road of being drained by anyone.


Story # 2

We met by coincidence, a fellow client had introduced us and they popped into visit us, all friendly and nice.

Three years later, she came for treatments every month to help with her depression, anxiety and ptsd. She was at her witts end financially and emotionally. She begged for help and me being me, I said I would help. We shifted into her space, we attracted clients, I cleared the energy, I lifted the vibration of the place and it attracted business, they bought a new car, their banking account was flowing, they went on 6 vacation weekends.

I did all of that. They had a flush reality, until a young man came to visit us and he was a recovering addict, this sparked her jealousy, her anger, and her wrath against me. I sat their listening to her anger, her getting into my character, telling me that she didn’t want this space to be a “reiki”space. I drew a line in my head and said no more.

I told my partner, she played us well, she got exactly what she wanted, money, new car, flush existence, I will not give anymore.

It was time to move on.  Lesson: People lie especially sociopaths to get their way and they will play on the empaths emotions and use you until they no longer need you.


 Story # 3

We met online, he was in a bad space. He had been in a accident and had both his arms broken, he suffered with Ptsd, unable to work for 6 months already. Everyday for 2 years, I sent him healing, everyday prompting him to do more, walk to their gate, walk to the shop, go and get your  license  disc sorted out.  Time to go to a workshop, so he could work again. Everyday, it was time, counselling, reiki and now 2 years and 4 months, later, a realization hit me.

Lesson :

The universe hit him with karma of an accident for change, why because PAIN is our greatest teacher. If you don’t love yourself enough to change, to grow, to become the best possible person, you live in denial,  you live a life of eat, shit, sleep, a 5 sensory life which is NOT spiritual. If your ancestory has been destroyed and you have no spirit connection, then you have  a duty to repair it and start to speak your truth and live your truth.

If you live a dualistic life with your family and another when they are not looking, you are being fake with yourself and others and you are not SPIRITUAL at all. You are therefore a narcissist and have way more problems living on the pain you create, because you have no love.

Life lesson : People lie. Narcissist are attracted to Empaths, like a moth to a flame because they have NO love and will suck on you like a VAMPIRE.  Important for you to CUT ties and LET Go.

You once again cannot save anyone, SELFLOVE is an inside JOB and learning these hard lessons, have left physical scars and emotional scars. (I’m over it….

So if you are new to this healing game, protect you, give your heart to no one and Love yes, but be sure to protect all of you, your relationships, your home, your space, your existence, always.

Don’t be naiive, “bad”people exist. . .  be Conscious of it.







Abortion is a personal decision.



First off, it takes 9 months for the baby to develop, (I know this because I treat Pregnant moms and babies regularly)

that being said, at 3 months the babies system and SPIRIT is NOT a human being yet and its chakra system isn’t developed,

it takes 9 months for it to be a human being, a SPIRIT, a SOUL, COMPLETE.

I am pro abortion!  I believe that every woman has a choice. It is YOURS to decide.

For example :

Reiki baby no 11 was aborted, why?

Because she was a recovering coccaine addict  fresh out of rehab, who had a one night stand  with a stranger,

and did not take any precautions.

Does this look like a healthy life for a baby? NO. The most important aspect of this story is the

security, commitment, a sacred space for the child to grow and be nurtured in, this is NOT it.


I see NEW MOMS loving the journey of MOTHERHOOD, in a stable, family and husband/ partner, a supporting environment, being dedicated, hardworking and self sacrificing to this vocation.

It takes a lot to be a mom to a new born baby and you want to have a healthy kid, in mind, body and spirit. 

Babies are clever, if there is one speck of you NOT wanting them, they will be needy and hound you, easy!

You will regret being a mother and feel like you are being sapped. SEE THE DIFFERENCE here?


Yesterday, I received a whats app from one of my clients who despite me warning everyone about REIKI

Making them fertile and if they don’t want to have kids, take every precaution necessary : ie.

The pill, the patch, the condom, schedule sex when you are not ovulating and be safe, not stupid. 


In this day and age, KIDS are avoidable, if you don’t want them, if you are not prepared to dedicate the

next 18 years to raising, nurturing and LOVING your kid,

it is a COMMITMENT, not a mistake or a accident, don’t have them.


To love something that is born of you, is the most natural thing in the world, it is not a burden or a

annoyance or a curse or a punishment for being a woman,

It is A GIFT, to be a MOTHER.

So you say, I am not a mother, but I have raised

Many kids in my life and I continue to Nurture and guide others, even though, my womb is closed for business,

I believe I am serving my purpose, as best as I can.

So, I say again, if you don’t want kids, take precautions, if you do want kids go ahead and embark on the journey of changing your entire world, but please please please be ready for it, if not, have an abortion and deal with your emotions thereafter, change your attitude and your life because a mistake once, is a mistake, a mistake twice, then you chose it.

Learn and grow from it!

Once bitten. Twice shy! And all. . . .

The end.


Depressive person and the Empath



This morning I had a deep realization about depressed people or even bi polar people and the empath.


The empath will do all they can to help these people who do not have the self love or

mental capability to readjust their negativity to a self realized conviction to change

their path to a positive one.

Depressed people : HIGHLIGHT the negative, THEY amplify it, they watch the news to

live off the fear and the drama associated with it. They also tap into the misery of others, igniting their pain

bodies of others, so they can gain energy and “lay an egg” about how bad it is.

You as the empath must learn to discern that YOU cannot HELP them by either absorbing their

pain or continuously trying to change their convictions, this is where you need to learn

detachment. You can slowly start to be less and less available for them to spew their

misery, hurt and hate which is their saviour.

Stay in your OWN SKIN!  if you are HAPPY and LOVE yourself, don’t take on their problems, give them

the space to TAKE Responsibility for their life.

You can  try and spend very little time with them because it will DRAIN your life force.

This is called an energetic vampire.

How can you heal from this? Go for a reiki session and ask the person to cut the CORDS and

remove all connections from your aura.  I assure you, you will feel so much better.

I set you before the choice of LIFE or Death. A life created with LOVE, Abundance and JOY

or a A life created with fear, anger, misery and depression and daily recreating this reality.

You hold the key to a life worth living or not.

The choice is yours.



Two worlds. . .



Hi, My name is Colleen and I live in 2 worlds. I live in the spiritual world connected to my

Ancestors, my guides, my lineage of Reiki Masters and yes I connect with the spirits beyond time and space.


Hi, My name is Colleen and I live in this reality, this earth, this planet, this area called the Midlands,

I was guided here by my intuition and Divine synchronicity.

My life purpose has been set out for me before, this is who I am, a healer, a shaman, a warrior,

a creator, a writer, a advisor, a counsellor, a intuitive massage therapist, a reiki master, a  wife,

a teacher.  As you can see the list of endless roles, did I mention that all of this comes with a Great Responsibility.

I chose to be a dedicated healer, dedicated to the Highest good, which means nurturing many on their journey of Life, however, when I started out, I wanted to heal everyone from the addict to the abuser, I had to learn valuable lessons which moulded me to change who I was. I was naiive. I was over giving and I did not protect me.

This is where my warrior kicked in. I am a warrior for the greatest good which does not come without sacrifice or discipline or hardwork or perserverence.  Being a SPIRITUAL being is Hard Work!

The funky pictures on Instagram or facebook : About being ONE with the Universe looks romantic but in truth,

you have to face being UNCOMFORTABLE and Accepting that the rest of the world is UNCONSCIOUS

and UNaware of the SPIRITUAL side of LIFE!

Like going to Pick and Pay, you can’t give the cashier a hug in payment of your groceries? really?

Your car doesn’t take water for FUEL? Does it.

Your bank does account is not in Credit all the time based on your feelings?

The realities of life is unavoidable, some things just are.

This brings me to the topic of HEALING!  after practising healing for 8 years, I have had to become

discerning about who I want to work on and who not. WHY? yes, everybody deserves healing yes, but

NOT everybody will do the INNER work of dealing with themselves to grow and learn.

Fact is : SOME people love the drama, chaos, anger, miserable life they have and will make every effort to

spread their misery!

Me being me a empath will keep trying to help them heal, but F### it, really when did I agree to that!

Fact is I did not!  The path of a healer is to be the vessel of HEALING, to guide you to figure out, how best to bring balance and HEALING to thyself.

I am not a magic wand handler, or a lucky packet gadget of magic or a miracle worker  (sometimes it does work)

but YOU my dear are your greatest healer!

You….. to embark on a journey of  healing you, try massage, reiki and counselling, become

the best part of YOU! even though its hard and uncomfortable, you are worth it.




Most people think healing is a outside job, but actually it is completely a inside job.

When you go for healing, the “healer” acts as a vessel to open the blockages within

yourself so you can heal. The greatest healer within is SELF LOVE.

Loving yourself enough to eat healthy meals, do exercise, practise yoga, practise meditation,

so you keep connected to your Divine Universe and to keep your Spiritual life alive.

There is a secret reiki sign which I blow into everyone’s crown chakra, this sign Brings forth your

true self. If your true self is a complaining, sickly, ego driven person, well that’s what you get.

If your true self is to become a vegan, write a book, live in Cape Town and travel the world,

well that’s what you will experience also.

YOU are the DIVINE Spark, your attitude, your spoken words, your thoughts, creates your

world and universe.  If you choose to focus on your debt, your lack of finances, you will have

more money troubles, than you can handle.

If you choose to focus on Abundance and receive your needs from the UNIVERSE, that is what you will

experience also.

Healing is NOT this “magic”  crystal ball that will fix everything. Healing is a JOURNEY within yourself,

dealing with yourself, learning to bring forth balance within you, with the help of a therapist or Reiki master or

Life coach counsellor, there is no instant healing. (like instant noodles)

Receiving healing means you take full responsibility for you and have the courage to embark on

your self healing journey.

I have seen many people in my practise, some have grown from strength to strength with LOVE,

others have de-volved, they have become worse off, because they refuse to LOVE themselves and

have a healthy boundary life, with good healthy food and  toxin free life.

FREEWILL  – we all have it, we get to decide who want to be and therefore reap the consequences thereof.

Let us become more focused on the positive on growing our inner true self and

journeying to become a better version of ourselves.

Lets change this world….. as we begin to change ourselves.




N e e d is NOT love


In every crisis, I saved you, when you were hungry, I fed you,

I hoped for a inkling of love and acceptance, instead, you

manipulated me with your chaos, you rejected me, and

made me feel inadequate. Every spec of me held onto that hope.

It was all good when you needed me, but

need is not love. LOVE is love, it flows from the heart, it is a DIVINE

force which rests within us, which is freely given and freely received.

I wish you knew the difference, I wish, you could see the web of chaos,

you create with your unconscious decisions, I wish.

To love is to nurture you, to exercise, to do yoga, to take vitamins,

to be the best possible you. The best of you when loved is not

phased by your waist size or your weight or any negative aspect of you.

You are just loved, every roll, every line, every inadequacy is overlooked.

You are accepted, and everyone’s opinion does not matter because you are loved by you.

LOVE is LOVE. It happens. . .

Love yourself.

Love your partner.

Love your pets.

Love your life.

Be happy. Share Joy.

Be… you.

Be happy.


Saying I do . . .


When I met my partner 18 years ago, I knew exactly what I wanted, I made a list, I ticked off every aspect which was good and never thought that this person would change my life and change me.  (Male driven me..at the time)

Being in a relationship takes work, you become responsible for every aspect of your life with this person, reason being  woman are naturally more responsible for creating, that being said, you need to understand that running a home, having a job, being a wife, a lover, a mother, literally changes every aspect of you.

The change from being a single person, as you begin to realize, you need to “mother” your partner, ensuring he takes his stuff, ie. Cell phone, wallet, keys with him, or you are left feeling frustrated every time you have to turn around and go fetch his stuff, at home.

You adapt, you juggle, you plan, you start being efficient and make plans intuitively have back up plans, if and when, he forgets, or caused some chaos at home. (leaving the gas on or the washing machine tap running flooding, the house)

Our brains are then divided into 5 roles and then some, because we enjoy a flowing life and not a chaotic one.

Having 5 different roles to play is exhausting, and sometimes all you want is 5 minutes to yourself to complete a thought, to daydream about the past, or just 20 minutes to take a nap. ME time becomes this treasure that keeps evading you.

Here is the KEY! = You are the boss. You are the boss of your relationship and how you manage your time, how you nurture or neglect you.

After turning 40 this year, I have been changing a few things in my life, to make my life better for me.



Rule  1 :

Only I can make me happy, to ensure my happiness, I choose to affirm that ‘this’ or that makes me happy, and if it makes you unhappy, don’t do it with me, simple. It is your own responsibility to make you happy, I cannot do it for you, simple.

Rule 2 :

NO means NO!   simple, I don’t need to justify why or what.

No is no.

Rule 3 :

Ask for Help. I can multitask but sometimes, I am tired and 5 minutes of some tlc like rubbing my feet would be appreciated. Noted!  And action taken . . .  will be reminded frequently….of this one.

Rule 4 :

Nurturing is easy. Love yourself by Taking your vitamins (vit b complex, vit c, iron, dolomite, just to name a few).  Do Exercise. Do yoga, meditate, Reiki you every day or go for a massage / reiki session to keep you feeling loved and nurtured. You either nurture or neglect you. When you neglect you…you give people your scraps, and not your best.

Rule 5 :

Do your best. When you do your best, you run the race called life with yourself, and no one else matters.  So, keep focus on what is important and let the worries fall away.

The most important part is to choose to be happy and manage every aspect of your life with ease, as if it takes no effort, this is the making of a True Warrior, a big hearted woman.







Negative P l e a s u r e




Growing up, we all experience negative pleasure.

We are punished by a hitting of the hand and receive attention which

we crave for, as kids. The truth is being a naughty brat, brings both pleasure and pain.

We become accustomed to receiving pleasure and pain, in this case the neuro pathway is created.

Our brain and emotional self recognises the pain to both pleasure and pain.

We gossip. We bad mouth. We complain. We vent. We bitch. We affirm the negative, it

all becomes comfortable, until the self sabotage shadow self takes over and then,

it becomes the normal pattern to be negative all the time and speak it, think it, affirm it.

You loose your vitality, you loose money, you are in debt and you wonder how it all happened?

When you affirm the negative, you tap into that paradigm of living a 5 sensory life

(work, eat, shit, sleep, no awareness = SHEEP).

You begin to live without SELF love, Joy, Happiness, peace, harmony, guidance by your higher self.

To be truly happy, you need to LOVE yourself and live in harmony with yourself and others, while

listening to your intuition and disciplining yourself to NOT give into your negative inclination.

Make no mistake, this is NOT easy, it is far easier to affirm the negative, but it only feeds YOUR EGO,

not your spirit.

Feeding your spirit is feeding the good aspects of yourself, the LOVE, the forgiveness,

the JOY, the pleasurable aspects of being a positive human being.

LOVE and Gratitude is the HIGHEST vibration in the UNIVERSE.

DR EMOTO researched and completed vast experiments on rice and water, blessing and

cursing these items and the outcome was, to LOVE and To be Grateful is the best way

to live and to NURTURE ourselves and  the Planet we live on.

So, How will you change?

Will you keep polluting your mind and our planet and Those around YOU?

Or turn it all round and live a LIFE of LOVE and Purpose?

I stand at the door of your heart and KNOCK, will you let the LOVE in………

If you need help, contact me 084 603 0604, lets embark on a healing journey for you!







When I was a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child,

I believed all people were good, I believed that we should all try to be

good people, but growing up and leaving my childish ways behind me,

I have learnt that people will only do to you, what you allow.

I have learnt that if you make someone dependent on you, they will return with

even more demands.

I have learnt, if you keep “taking” on someone else’s problems, you are not giving

them room to stand up for themselves.

I have also learnt, that a good tree, is known by its FRUIT, good decisions are hard and

being disciplined with your time and energy and your relationship takes work.

Every aspect of being an adult is difficult.

We have to take care of yourself, your home, your car, your finances, your groceries, your

life. When you are a kid, you can play until you fall over, you imagine being an adult is cool.

When you mature as we all do, we begin to realise what responsibility is.

I have been responsible for myself and others for many times in my life,

I take this life seriously, because I don’t like karma or consequences, so I tread carefully in my life.

YES< I am human and I make mistakes, then I readjust myself and learn from them all the time.

Truth is I have matured, into being me, some like it, some don’t.

Being mature means being discerning also :

Say NO and mean it.

Learn to mind your own business.

Don’t try to save anyone, we are all adults, lets give each other the space to sort our shit out.

Those who keep recreating the same problems, means they either addicted to the drama or they like chaos.

Don’t carry anyone, make an effort to put anyone else’s problems down and don’t let your attention venture to it.

LOVE yourself to enough to keep focus on your life, Your love, your journey because this is what makes you happy.

Be disciplined with yourself, I once had to learn the hard way about keeping my energy safe, don’t squander who you are for anyone.

SOME straight talk for today!

Keep Happy!… and all else flows..to you.


Warriors of motherhood


Warriors of Motherhood, Written by Caitlin Koch  (warriorsofmotherhood.co.za)

I have been thinking about this one for a while and I am going to be brave about writing it. I’m going to put some sensitive things up today. So grab your warrior shield, sharpen that spear and maybe have a box of tissues close because I know I’m going to cry writing this.

First off, falling pregnant, pregnancy, birth and recovery from birth were all very easy for me. I was very blessed that I didn’t suffer from any issues. Very blessed. That possibly doesn’t even cover it because there are so many issues for some many couples around these topics. And I say couples. Yes, a lot of it (not always though) is to do with the female body but your men suffer just as much beside you. They might not understand this need you have to be a mother and bear children, but looking at you in pain and suffering is  hard on them too.

Andrew and I went on this amazing Eurotrip in Dec 2013 and we decided on that trip, the next year would  be the year to fall pregnant. I went off the pill in beg of March and by April, we were telling our family Christmas might be hectic because David was due on the 24th December (Christmas turned out to be an anti-climax because my son and niece decided they weren’t ready yet!). Before I went off the pill, I went to see our family GP and said right, I want to have a baby.  Blood tests, weight checks, full body check out was in order. And we found out I have an underactive thyroid. Now the thyroid is super important in pregnancy because what happens is in the first 12  weeks, your thyroid is producing all the hormones you need to sustain the baby. And then at 12 weeks, your baby’s thyroid has grown big enough that it takes over this job. This is why miscarriage at 12 weeks is common because your thyroid has been providing the hormones and then the baby’s thyroid is not ready to take over so the hormone level drops. I had to be medicated my whole pregnancy and now for the rest of my life too. I had a lot of blood tests during my first and second pregnancy to monitor my  thyroid and adjusted medication as needed.

I loved being pregnant. I wasn’t sick. I felt energised and it just worked with me. In terms of having a baby, in our group of friends, Andrew and I were up there with the first pioneers going forth into the unknown so I wasn’t really aware of how often miscarriages and the loss people were experiencing happened.  As time carried on, it became more and more apparent to me what a rare case I was. And I started to feel  bad. And it’s not saying that I don’t want people to talk about it. I really do. The more we share with each other, the more we understand, the more help, support and love we can offer each  other. But I felt bad because I felt like I hadn’t truly realised the situation I was in and  was I nurturing my little soul in my belly enough? And then I stopped myself. Just because I didn’t suffer does not mean that my baby isn’t a miracle. Of course it’s a miracle. Every single child on this planet is a miracle. Every person is a miracle. Whether they were conceived naturally, under  the full moon, whether they were created in a sterile clinic environment, or whether a mom just needed an extra boost of meds to help her get her body as ready as it could possibly be to carry this miracle for 9 months. Every single being is a miracle and we need to cherish that.

Once I had gotten over this feeling, I started going for reflexology. Do not do this in your first 3 months of pregnancy. It is not advised. I loved going, it was my one afternoon a month where I could just kick back, get my  feet rubbed and I felt like  I was really gelling with David. I felt like we were in sync and all was going to be ok as long as we had each other.

Robert on the other hand is another story. David was about a year and a half and my hubby and I decided that it was maybe time to start trying again. And you hear of people battling with their second child sometimes. Not here. Andrew and I basically looked at each  other with mating eyes and I was pregnant. I was pregnant again. I had just got my body back from being pregnant, breastfeeding for 8 months, and now I was doing it again. I went to the doctor again earlier in that  year to discuss the second pregnancy and to do my blood checks. I needed to lose more weight before I fell pregnant with my second. I hadn’t lost the weight I wanted to and I was pregnant. I felt like it had happened too soon.  I wasn’t going to have enough time with David. What was going to happen with work? And I have never told anyone how I was really feeling because I know what a miracle children are. I know countless women who have  suffered miscarriages. I know women who have had to be medicated to ovulate. I know women who have had to go IVF and down that path. I know women who are trying  to fall pregnant and it’s still not happened.  And know that I think you women are so brave. Being a mother is hard but I can’t even imagine the pain and loss that one would feel losing that. My boys are my life. Or not being able to experience becoming a mother and this was your ultimate dream. YOU WOMEN ARE WARRIORS. You go out and are happy at every birth announcement that isn’t your own. You go to every baby shower with a gift in hand and smile on your face. And that must be outrageously hard. You are walking your own path but please, look left, look right, we are all beside one another in this sisterhood. We need to be there to support each other. Motherhood or not. Being a mother doesn’t make you better than anyone else. It might make you more tired but it does not give us a podium to stand on and  receive accolades or complain that your life is hard because your child won’t sleep in  their own bed. Everyone’s life is hard. Those who choose to have children. Those who try and can’t have children and those who choose not to have children. How  you deal with hardship in your life and the attitude you face it with is what guides your path to happiness or sorrow. It is all within your control.

And here I was, upset because it had happened too soon in my head – here I chose to walk a path of sadness alone and it was lonely. I called up my reflexology lady and she had retired so I asked my sister if she knew anyone. She had spoken about Colleen a bit before and said I should maybe  try her as she knows that Colleen has treated pregnant women before.

I arrived at Colleen’s (late – it’s a Koch thing) and rushed in there. I thought I had a smile on my face but Colleen got me to lie down on the bed and promptly said ‘You pissed off about being pregnant’. I looked at her in shock and said Um no I’m not, I’m very happy about it. She laughed and told me my body is saying something else. And so it unravelled. And as Colleen massage my body and listened, I let go of my fears, my worries, my anger. I said the things I hadn’t said to anyone because how can I be thinking these things when the world is such an unfair place and children are miracles. Afterwards, she told me its ok that I’m pissed  off but we going to change that now and you are going to get in sync with that little soul inside of you. I walked away feeling lighter and brighter than I  had in a long time. And for the first time, I felt happy about being pregnant. I started to imagine my little family of 4. I went to Colleen for the rest of my pregnancy once a month. And I still go.  She resets me. Aligns my spirit with my true self and picks me up. Colleen used to run an office for Tracker in Cape Town and she turned her whole life around to find a place where she was happy. She’s lived in India(ask her about her time there, amazing stories), she does reiki, sports massage, repair massage – I like to call this soul repair and  she lives in this gorgeous little cottage with husband in the Karkloof. She beats her own Warrior drum and marches to her own beat. She is a Warrior of Healing. She writes wonderfully and you can find her blog here


I had Robert on the 3rd March this year and I wouldn’t have it any other way. My life is not perfect but I feel like its damn near close to my perception of perfection. My miracles are both perfect to me. I sometimes look back and wonder what if I didn’t go to Colleen? Would Robert have turned out like he did? How would I have been as a mother to two children?  I don’t know. There are a lot of sceptics in this world and you must believe in your own truth because it is you who lives in that world. My own husband is a sceptic. But I still go to Colleen. At the end of the day, I leave there feeling better and no one can take that away from me.

In support of my blog, Colleen has very kindly offered the following:

Lucky Draw for Articles submitted to The Warriors of Motherhood blog

Free Reiki and Counselling session valued at R600

I’ll give you 2 weeks to submit your articles to me and do a draw at the end of the month

Email your articles to raciborska@gmail.com









Be better

Be better by Claire @ http://www.growingfree.co.za


In my childhood, through my youth and young adulthood I had little idea of the tigress that lived inside me. She stalked my life in silence, tail twitching, eyes glinting. My daughter grew alongside her in the depths of my womb. The day that my daughter was pulled out of my belly, in a blur of fluorescent light, green-robed attendants and mechanical whisperings, a glimmer of light snuck in and played over the fur of the fearsome beast. She knew then that the time for her to escape had come. My daughter was carried away from me, leaving me alone in my body once more, and the tigress clawed her way up and into my heart. Now here she sits, ears pricked and claws sharp. She waits for injustice, she looks for lies. All her force and power is now mine. I became more fully myself. I became whole and healed even as I was cut open and pulled apart. 

The world needs this tigress, and so does my daughter. Who will fight for my child if I do not? Who will fight for truth and light and goodness and God if I do not? My daughter deserves better than this world. All our children do. We must find our courage in the depth of their need. Love for our children is seeded in this dependence. And it asks of us to reach deeper and be more than we ever have before. Each of us carries wounds unhealed, truths ignored, and sins disguised. These stains leach onto our children. We will never love them if we cannot love ourselves. They will never be good enough if we are not. We have no chance of guiding them to good health if we ignore our own. If we cower in fear of others’ opinions and expectations, so too will they. If we let evil slip by us unchallenged they will never learn right from wrong while under our care. Their salvation lies in our own. And our salvation rests in our willingness to fight for truth and seek out healing.

You can be better than you are. I am not referring to your bank balance, or your status, your calorie count or your circle of friends. The ways in which each of us gets closer to who we are truly meant to be are diverse and infinite. Because you and your path are unique. You might lean towards your full potential by pounding roads at dusk as you hone your body for greatness, you might find it in the early morning light dappling your yoga mat, or your prayer rug. You might enroll for therapy* and exorcize demons, or give away your money and exorcize clutter. You might start a business, or have a baby, or travel the world, or build a house, or heal others, or simply pay unfailing fastidious attention to the quality of your life.

You can shine so bright all the world is dazzled by your light. And you really don’t need to give a fuck if anyone else finds that inconvenient. For those seeking to hide, the volume of your truth can be overwhelming, distasteful or offensive. These people cannot hurt you, and they should not deter you. They serve your purpose, because they show you just where the dark spots lie.

To know the extent of my power is thrilling. It is also terrifying. I let this fierce and beautiful creature prowl around in the dark for years and years because I was afraid. I was fearful not of her power but of the responsibility it brought with it. To know my own strength would be to know my responsibility to acknowledge injustice, and to do everything in my power to right it. I am still dominated by this reluctance. I want, more than anything, for this to not be my burden. But my need is greater. Her need is greater.

And what we need, all of us, is to walk with the light.

*This post was sponsored by Colleen of Midlands House of Healing. While I credit the emergence of my tigress to my daughter, Colleen did much of the coaxing. Over a year of monthly treatments she left invisible messages of courage, wiped away the grime of confusion and let me transform within a cocoon of love. We tend to think of massage as a treat, an indulgence. But self-transformation is something we owe the world more than ourselves. Seek out what help you can on the painful road to change. Keep moving forward, for all our sakes.

R o m a n c e – The real stuff, not Hollywood crap



Dear Reader,

If you are a romantic and believe the fairy tale stories from Hollywood of what to

expect in a relationship, STOP! reading now.

If you would like to know the real romance about what life is made of, read on.

I married young because I am totally in love with this man, he is my world, I expected a

knight in shinning armour romance, he proposed to me and I said yes.

He would jump out of the car and pick flowers at the traffic light while other drives hooted at him.

He would write me Love letters in CAPITAL letters because that’s his writing, as you can see,

it really isn’t what the romantic movies and novels broadcast.

He is romantic, he makes me lunch and dinners and does the laundry, and tumble dries

my towels before I shower, so I can have warm towels. He hangs my favourite painting next to

our bed. He will happily fix the object I have broken, even though, I am now on the 8th

can opener in 18 years, and he cannot understand it, but he tolerates my excessive strength.

He has saved me many times, when I fell when abseiling in Cape Town, he helped me stand up,

he taught me to drive, he made me eat when I was dying of food poisoning, he would take me

to the doctor when I was sick and stubborn.   In the same relationship, I have carried him home

when he sprained his ankle, I would bath him, when he hurt his back and literally drive him to the

hospital and back, I would force him to go to the doctor, when I couldn’t fix what was happening to him.

I would carry him, give him a 2 hour lecture and help him heal any injury: his back, his legs, his body,

anything, because I know he would do the same for me.

We are a team, but it isn’t the fairy dust and roses romance, its different.

Now, he just needs to hold me and say he loves  me, appreciates me, and is blessed to have me in his life, and  I

am sorted. I no longer need the fancy dinner, because he cooks it anyway.

I’m a foodie, so delicious food homemade is what I love.

Romance comes in many forms, even making me a cup of tea when his not busy, is a hug in a cup.

Create your own Romance, because YOU can.

Appreciation and LOVE goes a lonnnnggggggg    way,  going on 18 years and counting.




Have you been catfished?


What is a catfish?  Catfish is someone who pretends to be someone they’re not using Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances.

I have been catfished, many times in my life. (not anymore)

It basically started in my 20’s. (I was young and naiive)  I purchased a computer, I uploaded Microsoft chat and icq

and I joined a singles chat room in South Africa. What I learnt was funny, disappointing and

hard to swallow!  so here we go  :

  1. When people describe themselves:  Tall and handsome it meant  – short and fat. A nerd and an introvert person meant a gothic type person.   Each person  I met in real life, was not what they described on line, they either were the complete opposite, or they LIED about everything!
  2. The personal information people share online, via whats app, facebook, twitter, bbm channel or any other social media – we start to create this magical person in our heads which is a figment of our imagination, you are creating a expectation which surely will lead to disappointment! I know it….
  3. When you eventually meet this person, you have been chatting to for a year or 2 or 3 years, you like WTF – who are you, you certainly NOT what I pictured. You are not the person who drinks 3 cups of coffee or smokes 20 cigarettes, in my head, what did you do with the invisible you? The person, I liked.
  4. When described as …I am loving, kind, spiritual, gentle and easy to live with. – When you share this information with someone they form a picture of you, this picture, doesn’t say you wear black clothes or spend 2 hours in the bathroom. All these good character traits are relative, my kind of spiritual is waking up early, doing exercise, yoga, meditation and prayer, this is my spirituality, it isn’t if you are not a morning person. (your not spiritual)
  5. Truth is – people cannot speak their truth if they are not 100% honest with themselves. I am. I know I can be kind and gentle and loving and I know I can easily unleash my warrior on you, bad ass instantly.
  6. Online pictures, all of my pictures are current and it is exactly what I look like. If you have  pictures of 20 years ago online and promote yourself as being young, and you are 40 something, wake wacky please wake up.
  7. When meeting a stranger, ensure you are meeting in a public place, because if they lie so easily, you need space to run away, ie to the toilet….keep running, jump through the window..keep running unfriend, block, delete.
  8. Gut feeling : your gut feeling is your intuition, if you are NOT feeling it, escape, say no this is not for me. (run)
  9. Don’t people please, if you don’t like someone say so and MOVE on, don’t stick in their hoping they will change, I promise they won’t.
  10. Blind dates  – Don’t let anyone set you up! so far, this hasn’t worked for me….. it just becomes a painful exercise.
  11. Does he or she fulfil me?  Physically? Emotionally? Intellectually? Sexually?  Is he or she intelligent? Take the time to figure out if this person is for you. Do you either choose to grow together and strengthen each other?Don’t sleep together on the first date, as it takes a year or more to figure anyone out, there is no short cut.
  12. KNOW what YOU Want?  Make a list of what you want in a partner, likes/ dislikes, what you want… it is that simple. Then let it go and know that person is on the way.
  13. Meet People IN Real LIFE, not in a bar, or a pub, somewhere neutral like a yoga club or gym, become friends FIRST before any hanky panky!  Lets NOT be Naiive….(people have baggage)
  14. LOVE yourself ENOUGH to know your self worth, don’t settle for scraps, wait for what you want!  no shortcuts.
  15. Be confident in your ability to attract your soul mate, nothing else will do, be authentic enough to wait, nothing worthwhile is instant.    Happy Visualizing and lets delete the catfish.   I  hope this made you laugh and laugh!!

Sex, Shower, Shit, Shave, r e p e a t = Life



So, I turned 40 this year and I have decided to be honest, outspoken and choosing to do what makes me happy.

I also realized why most people have a midlife crisis at this stage.

The point is when you reach 40, you are either halfway through with this life or you have another 60 years to go.

If you have not been living a happy life, well, it kind of hits you! Instantly!

At 40, it feels like your life is this timeline playing right before your eyes.

You have sex, but tomorrow, you will probably have it again, it’s that feeling which is never sated…

or  for a short while  it is….and then you need it again…

You have to shit and shower every day, it is part of the human process of being clean and getting dirty.

Shaving, well, I am starting to neglect this chore,

because if I look down at my legs and see a forest on my legs, I will shave it, but now, I am calling it maintenance shaving, I am not spending 30 minutes on getting it,  ultra smooth finish, nope, I just maintain it so I don’t have this bush of

armpit hair or leg hair that freaks me out….


Life seems to be on a repeat button, it somehow feels like that.

I have made some changes for me.

I have gifted all my bras to someone in need, so I now own only 1 bra and the rest is sports bras which are far more comfortable for me.

I have started writing more so I can understand where I am at. 

I have 7 books looking at me and I try and read every day to keep my brain healthy and functioning.

About 3 months ago, I started using my weights and my training routine combined with walking, because, I want to keep fit and  be stronger, so I am becoming more agile which is good for anyone, at any age.

This year, I also decided to stop people pleasing which includes visiting friends, that I don’t like,

to keep my partner happy, I just say NO thanks and carry on being in my space, which is my happiest space ever. 

I don’t feel the need to justify what I feel, if it is not for me, well, I will just say so.

Hair, hair, hair everywhere, those who have straight hair want curly hair and vice versa, I have basically tried everything from blow drying to relaxing to straightening to dreading it, what works is to wash and condition it and to braid it into different styles and fashions every day, which it takes 15 minutes maximum, so its easy peasy.

What to wear? I have undertaken to dress like a Goddess when I am not massaging anyone, which means I look and feel good about myself more, and of cause my husband notices which is awesome!

The American Indians believe that when they go into battle, they should look their best, just in case its their last mission, so how about we make the effort to look amazing for ourselves and be Divine Goddess’s every day, when we can.

Being at peace with yourself is a wonderful feeling which I wish for every woman and man, so keep journeying within on this story of life.




F u n c t i o n a l : Women



Being functional is what the world promotes,

Work, eat, shit, shower, sleep, repeat,  rush, hurry, hectic, stress, drama, chaos, the male driven persona requires us …to ….rationalise things into :

                   I must, I should, I have to . .

No time for rest, rejuvenation, healing, nurturing,

Taking time to connect with the female self.

Being dedicated to a profession is hard work,

If it’s a job, you are dedicated for a salary.

If it’s a life purpose, you are dedicated for a higher purpose, for the highest good possible.


It definitely depends on your attitude and personal

Preference as to how you approach, this topic.

We all try and live out our passion, our balance, our happiness.  Throw in the bills, expenses, debt, kids, and life becomes very interesting and stress filled.

The balance between personal sacrifice and fully functional comes into question.

Being functional in a job, doesn’t mean you have your emotional self sorted out, it can mean that you have subdued your female self which is the FUN, Loving,

Filled with laughter, creative self.

The part of you that enjoys life, that isn’t too serious and this part of you loves pleasure, orgasms, sex, fun,

Dressing and Eating well, not overworking yourself and

Not making a doormat of yourself.

I want to say the answer is simple, love yourself, but

I know this is no easy task.

Starting with boundaries to say NO! to some of the endless demands placed upon women or men.

Gaining your confidence by investing in yourself with a healthy diet of good stuff and chocolate.

Yoga, meditation, reiki and massage to keep yourself balanced in order to be the best possible person you can be.


Touch, love, feeling, being is all part of living a holistic life for yourself, over and over again, I am confronted with my dominant male self which happily takes over and my female self that says wait, this maybe isn’t the way to do it.

If we decide to freeze out the pain, we also freeze out the love, joy, happiness, and that emotion is frozen within ourselves, until we release it and accept that aspect of ourselves.

We become male driven because showing of any femaleness is a seen as a weakness, we are talked out of our feelings, our needs, our desires, our wants, but

We are this force which holds families, loved ones, jobs, visions together for this world to function.

Lets tap into our female self, lets dress like a goddess.

Lets walk with grace and ease into what we are, woman of power.

Lets rise to every occasion for ourselves because we

Deserve to be seen for who we are.

Lets not subdue ourselves to conform, lets be immune to the conditioning of this world because we can be.

Lets be ourselves 100%, because we choose it.


By doing so, we start to change the world in changing ourselves into a complete, loved, whole human being wanting to pass this knowledge of power along to our friends, family, kids, siblings, to whomever will listen because, we can be free, to be woman of power.











Old School : Give away, Recycle, Reuse



This week, I have been doing a cleansing, not the type of cleansing you would think but the type that I really need to do often.

I cleaned out my cupboard and gave away what I no longer need. I happily enjoy 2nd hand clothes and enjoy receiving clothes which fit me comfortably, I don’t mind it, I recycle and re use.

I gathered the courage to throw my old sneakers away which I had for 7 years, Willem has glued and fixed it for me but alas, it was time, but I reused the inner soles and kept the laces for something else.

Willem and I have also attempted to cut bread and potatoes from our diet, the gluten in the bread affects our colon badly and our stomach becomes bloated and uncomfortable, that being said, we have replaced it with rice cakes/ rye crackers which cost 5 times more than normal bread, but most of the wheat is GMO genetically modified, I can tell you, my grandmother would not eat it, and so I shouldn’t either.

 My grandmother was a bit of a techno phobic type person, she didn’t like electronics or changing light bulbs, those were all my duties to do. She was a smart lady ,she kept me busy with chores and restricted my television time to 2 hours a day, I was sent to play outside or water the garden or pick the fruit from the trees, being outside was my grounding space. These days, I feel I need to use social media but Not get sucked into a fake world of approval and Fake emotions.

I do feel, it is a useful tool to be used for the highest good,  as most people find me that way, so yay!

but I still need to work in the garden and go for walks and be present with my energy here, so old

school is best for the health of my body, mind and spirit.

Electronics themselves have a vibration, so it is important to discipline the use of our electronics as it creates an addictive behaviour, I know it.

I place clear quartz at my computer and try and leave my cell phone, if I am not busy answering messages.

I feel as a human being, one has to keep the balance within, keep nurturing and cultivating a spirit of happiness, growth, inner journeying to keep me happy.

Getting to a space of disciplining and addressing oneself, teaches us to harness our energy and

Take control of ourselves, so we can be the best parts of ourselves.

So, I keep journeying on, to grow within and become more of me, myself and I.

Walking the path, one foot firmly in front of another becoming more aware of my impact on others, my own energy, the choices I decide upon and the path that opens up for me.

This week has been a time of reflection, sort of in line with the Jewish Yom Kippur, a time of inner reflection, forgiveness and change.

Sometimes its just time to change things, to unsubscribe from the newsletters, to put your cell phone aside, to unfollow the naysayers, to keep your psyche and conscience clean, so you can hear your inner voice clearer, so your spiritual connection grows and you begin to feel lighter, more loved, no matter what your shape, size, weight, height or bank account balance.

You begin to just be . . . YOU>!






Your hand



I place my hand in yours, I hold you.  I breathe.

I seek to enter into  the secrets of your body, the shadows, the deepest.

I feel the scars, I sense the hurt. A new journey awaits, a letting go,

a release, a deeper awareness. The love flows, it knows the contours

of your body, to release a memory. To access the parts of your heart,

the sense of love, the unconditional magic which lies dormant within.

You hold magic, to love, to cherish, to forgive,  to become all of you.

I want to transport and transform your body and soul and

take you to a place without worry, fear, anger, I want

you to enter your own utopia of spirit, to become whole,

complete, the real you.

It starts with a one footstep to become more loving, more authentic,

more you, to heal within, to be complete.

By CvH





When we think of having a partner, it is a romantic notion, a dream,

a knight in shinning armour, a completion but with most relationships,

it takes work, is it easy, NOPE!

When we think of a goal for our career, it takes dedication, hardwork,

sacrifice and discipline, is it easy, NOPE!

Embarking on a spiritual quest for oneself, going inside and figuring

out who you are, both aspects of self, light and dark, is it easy, NOPE.

Having kids, which naturally divides a womans brain into 5 categories,

wife, mother, worker, cleaner, shopper, etc. is it easy, NOPE.

Building a house, takes finances, planning, dedication,

sacrifice, is it easy, Nope.

Every aspect of what is worth living for seems simple, but it is not,

easy, we want easy and instant but that isn’t how life works.

There is nothing easy in life, because it just is so.

So, lets become tougher, lets put on our best selves and

just embrace it, because anything that’s worth it, is hard,

but its ok, you possess the tools to face it,

if not, come see me………….


lets go on a journey of self discovery!


Love to you my followers : -)




Kick the Bucket


I’m 40 but I feel like a 20 something.

I think of all that I have accomplished in 8 years :

I had a career in the corporate tumble dryer called life, tick done. (I worked for Tracker)

I went to India 3 times and loved it, I love Auroville, the freedom and the madness, tick done.

(I learnt to build houses with Satprem at the Auroville Earth Institute)

I learnt to drive in India, both a car and a motorbike, what fun.

I sold all my worldly possessions in 2008 and now 8 years later, it feels strange to

have stuff like furniture, it scares me because I once again acquired stuff which

naturally weighs one down, alas, its done…..

I and my hubby manifested a car in 62 days, this year,  wahoo! tick done.

I have read books on spirituality, 3 books at a time, tick done.

I have learnt to write blog, thanks to Keri – who said just write them, tick done.

I am learning how to hashtag # Thanks to Nicola – who explained how it works, tick done.

I had a intern from California, from a land far away, tick done. (we all grew)

I taught someone reiki who will be a Spiritual Minister at a college in the US, tick done.

47 Reiki students, including 2 Reiki masters, taught –  tick done.

Travelling to Cape Town to see my family, tick done. (they are still crazeee)

I have lived off the grid for 6 months, with no electricity or comforts, tick done. (I moved to a proper house)

I am living my dream, 3 vision boards later, a comfortable home, and a good life,

an awesome practise and clients who I totally love and appreciate.

I have assisted in creating babies with reiki, 18 babies, so far, tick done.

I have helped people pass over with reiki, tick done.

I have assisted a alcoholic of 20 years to kick the habit in 5 weeks, with reiki and massage, tick done.


I sincerely believe I can do anything, if I can imagine it, well I could do it,

the challenge is to have one part knowledge, one part intuition and one part

courage to just do it, not to doubt, not to talk it to death, but just to DO IT!

You will certainly be surprised by what you can achieve. . .   once you have a goal

or a visionboard.

I have kicked my bucket for sure.

I’m sitting at my oasis wondering, what is next, where to from here,

To be or NOT to be.

To create or to enjoy.

Or All of the above, Find a new vision to study?

I sit on the step of the unknown, waiting for that spark of Inspiration to

give me the vision from Spirit  …. what I am guided to…, I wait. . .  .


(PS*** Was invited to a different part of India yesterday….NEW GOAL, you bet!)






I never wanted an ordinary life.

A life of mundane, the same job, the same washing of dishes,

the same vacuuming of the carpet, the same cleaning of the bathrooms, ordinary.

Washing, Ironing, Functioning, Etc. = Wife

The mundane and boredom aspect of being a housewife hit me at the

age of 6. I watched my grandmother slave away for her kids

and grandkids. I watched the joys and deep sorrows that came with motherhood

that a father never experiences.

Ordinary. I never wanted a husband, I wanted a partner in crime, a adventurer,

a MacGyver, a wingman, a follower.

I certainly, got it. I have explored other countries, Namibia, Mozambique

and India. I adventure to different aspects of self, to explore the light and the darkness

of my soul.

Fact is I hate ordinary, the mundane, I seek amazing, exploring, risk taking,

being on the edge of a huge break through, an ageless utopia of creativity,

Divine intervention and  the flowing synchronicity.

I stepped into an unknown life, the adventurer of myself.

A richness which keeps growing as I age like a 20 something,

never to loose my spark, my laughter, my joy and most of all,

my happiness which no money can buy.

A deeper connection of spirit gets ignited and another journey begins within.

Find the extra ordinary in your ordinary.





Awaken Woman (or Man)



Awaken Woman (or man)

I speak to your heart. I want your spirit to hear me.

The sleeping empaths, subdued by all kinds of things,

pain, abuse, substance influences, trauma, hurt,

those on medications to subdue what they cannot explain.

I ask you to wake up, to listen to what your spirit says,

To hear the words of your intuition, to open up to the unknown,

the speechless words of wisdom.

I seek my tribe, I am lonely, I long for home,

but until I fulfil what I was sent to do, I cannot leave.

I need your help. I need you to live your spirit.

I seek to have justice where there is none.

I seek you stand up in the face of abuse.

I seek you to give words to the innocent.

I seek you to step into your fear, use it, step onto the stone of your obstacles and conquer it.

I want you to know your shadow, let no one call you a doormat, a nice person,

a push over, as you are no longer those words.

I need you to step into your warrior, I need you to leave the box of your cage,

your comfort, your luxury and choose to be uncomfortable because this is where you will grow.

Like a weed growing in the paving, you will reach forth to the sun and

you will be watered by the rain.

You need not the comforts of this world to fulfil you,

You need to step into who you were meant to be.

Free!  Free to live  your spirit, to kick the naysayers of

Unhappiness, depression, and an unfulfilled life.

Start living a free life.

Place the burdens of others aside, step into who you are.

For too long have you subdued who you are.

For too long have you been silenced because it wasn’t appropriate.

For too long have you walked the path of sacrifice, this Is not the path of spirit.

Start walking the path of discipline, do what you feel is

In your heart, listen to your intuition, and serve

The higher purpose you were meant to be as a woman or man,

A healer, a mother, a father,  a sister,  a brother, a son, a daughter, a wife, a husband,

A person with purpose, a fulfilled life, a life worth living

because you possess the magic that this world needs,

It doesn’t need a walking dead, it needs your spirit alive.

So, I ask again, stand up and awaken, I  await you.



Utopia by Claire (@ www.growingfree.co.za)



I found utopia. It is a place of beauty and simplicity. It is a place pervaded by joy. It is a place secret and hidden, because you must work hard to get there, and it is a place for everyone, because anyone can. Follow me down the garden path, and I will show you where it lies.

We receive a hundred messages a day telling us to chase happiness, and that it lies just around the corner, with the next purchase, or achievement. And no matter how fast we run, the tip of her furry tail always slips through our fingers, and all we catch is our breath as we lean on our knees, bent in exhaustion, burn-out and debt. But what if we’re chasing entirely the wrong kind of animal? What if our idea of perfection needs revising?

In terms of perfect worlds, utopia is usually considered a place without pain or conflict.

‘…Utopia in the past has generally been conceived as an isolated commune carved out within an otherwise imperfect world. Assets are held communally so that members are all economically equal. While the members work, the communal culture is antibusiness. There is no hierarchy, and consequently, no-one is ever fired, or ‘excommunicated’. The rules are so effective that the society is not only stable but unchanging. …There are no surprises and people need not struggle together toward a better future. In fact, there is no progress – since perfection has already been reached.’

– Scott Peck, A World Waiting to be Born

These versions of perfection have always failed, and they always will because they are antithetical to humanity, and divinity, and nature. Similarly in our personal lives, sterile static types of perfection which are effortless and painless will never arrive. And if they did, they would wreak untold damage on the fabric of our souls.

So what stands in perfection’s place? The bumpy dirt road that leads me there forced my pace to slow. I look long at the mountain rising above the forest, at the lambs playing by the fence. I listen closely to the birds chorusing in the branches, the shade thrown down from their realm like confetti upon my head. Stone walls guide me in, their knobbled texture beloved and true. I step out from my car and peace envelops me. Colleen of the Midlands House of Healing* meets us, and welcomes us in. For a little while, she has allowed us into this space which she so fiercely protects, and we will bask in the glow of her happiness. Because this is her utopia.

Renowned psychologist, author and community builder, Scott Peck believes that citizens of utopia welcome spirit into their personal and collective lives. ‘They believe in progress. They see themselves as growing psychospiritually. They are willing to accept the pain of growth and are eager for any surprising assistance they can receive from a Higher Power.’

Colleen works hard to create a clean life within a clean space, and she holds her life purpose firmly at its core. She is making a meaningful difference in the world doing what she loves. It doesn’t solve all her problems, but it does answer most of her questions. She protects that space daily with mantra, magic symbols, rings of salt, rose quartz, and sacred sounds. And yet she invites in the wounded, the hurting, the tired, and gives them an opportunity to heal. She walks the tightrope between outside and in, between finding peace and working for change. She knows that in the end joy is simple enough to find. The way lies in truths so profound and ancient that they sound empty and trite. They sit out in the open, filling up Pinterest boards of inspiration that are as easy to flick past as the rest of the clutter on your feed.

give what you would like to receive

do what you love

make a meaningful difference

find your purpose

stand firm

be kind

be honest

The words are scattered around carelessly because their meaning is hidden from view. It is only when you put yourself through the painful process of becoming yourself that you are able to peer within. When you become who you are – without society, your past (both triumphs and failures), your family, your job – then and only then can the whispers of the Universe make it to your heart. And they might, just might, lead you to utopia.


Do you believe in utopia? Where, when and how have you found it?

*If you contact Colleen on 084 603 0604 she might just welcome you in for a little while, as she did me.

Toxic, Toxin, and the effects on an empath

toxin food


The most important thing in my life is self love, nothing else is

as authentic, real and true. I check in with myself everyday because

I aim to live a intuitive, spiritual life, listening to my body and my spirit

for guidance. I know the rest of the world, does not live a spirit filled life

but, I believe that everyone can, if they are prepared to be dedicated to it.

toxic people


What is toxic to me?   These are outside of my control.


Chatter on going –  Negative talk, moan, groan, complaining

Affirming the negative and igniting YOUR pain body

Barking dogs

Ambulance sirens

Shopping mall buzz – energy buzzing

Anxiety from others.

Manipulative people
What is a Toxin? These are ingested items, within my control.




Meat eating over consuming

Drugs that hinder self growth

GMO food

MSG food substances


Is dealing with a negative person toxic for me as an empath?

The answer is yes.  If the person has anxiety, ptsd, insomnia and a eating disorder

then the answer is yes. Yes because the habits are fully grown and they emit a

negative vibration. Sometimes it  is to late to change as the mental disorder

has taken over and they cannot change, even using their free will, it isn’t possible.

For an empath, this is toxic, because they emit such a negative vibration

which is overwhelming, like  a beacon that amplifies the negative,

best to get out this situation as quickly as possible to restore your own balance

with reiki/ massage / walking / meditation, ensure you cut ties with this person,

because try as they might, they cannot do the inner self conscious work, because

they have learnt to live off the pain, the drama, the negativity of fear which makes

them tick. If you continue to give empathy, you ll get drained and be exhausted,

best to walk away.


I try to live a toxic and toxin free life, because I love  my silence, I enjoy my

life, my space, I love what I do and I love affirming it.

Living this life, changes you, you  begin to deal with yourself and hear your Inner voice clearer,

you become a cleaner, clearer vessel for the Divine spirit to reside in.

Your will to live becomes stronger when you begin to cleanse your body and

your environment of toxins and toxic people.

I instantly know, listening to my gut feeling, if I will connect with someone or not.

The bridge of human connection becomes slightly more difficult when that person

consumes meat, alcohol and other substances, it basically numbs the spirit and we

have nothing in common to talk about.

Our paths are different, our lives are different.

SO I CHOOSE TO be a hobbit, healer, shaman, therapist because if you don’t

know what reiki or massage or what my passion is, its going to be a awkward

and a difficult conversation.

Fact is, I am happy. I am happy in my space, my body, my life and

I don’t desire your approval, so I wont people please, I will speak my

truth, whether it be brutal or mean or harsh, because I am real.

Being authentic and real is part of loving yourself and saying NO!

is a huge part of self love, so start a new chapter, identify what

makes you unhappy and then fix it.

Happiness is a choice.

Happiness is a inside job.

Happiness fulfils what money cannot buy.

Happiness is a feeling which builds to contentment.
Choose  Happiness, it will be a awesome guide to your life.




Counselling + Distance energy healing

Reiki distance healing

Counselling is exploring the confines of one’s mind, one’s emotions, one’s true self.

Exploring the different aspects of our own pain, trauma, abuse, venturing into it, so we can heal ourselves.

I have found that just doing a counselling session is helpful to heal the inner wounds of our being.

Combining the different modalities of massage, Reiki,

Crystal healing and sound healing with counselling,

you are assisting the body to heal itself on different levels.

Our Intuition and our spirits knows exactly what we need to heal.

Accessing ourselves with LOVE and Compassion, we learn to grow within,

to begin to love our true selves,

Whole and completely.

Life is certainly not perfect, we are faced with adversity,

Unanswered questions, imbalances which all can be healed with some help.

If you’d like to embark on a journey of Healing you,

I offer a 7 day Reiki Distance Energy healing to address the different aspects of you :

Inner child


Adult self




Self Love

 Distance healing can be performed for you, anywhere in the world, or for a friend, or for yourself and your kids.

Feel free to email me  : midlandshouseofhealing@gmail.com

Whats app +27846030604

Cost is R200 per day, duration of 7 days (R1400)



#inner journeying

#heal me



Embark on an insights journey

embark within

8 years ago I returned to an unknown life.

I started in a town that is and will be conservative.

I revisited Bethlehem in the Free State this weekend addressing the confines of my own boundaries and limitations.

I have changed dramatically, I no longer have the inclination to take on another’s pain or

to have my pain body triggered by anyone.

I am able to freely stand up for myself and address whatever I need to say.

I no longer subdue the feelings I have because I choose to be me.

Some of the lessons have been hard, the ones that make you cry in the shower,

a deep sobbing that releases that dull ache within.

Here are some of the lessons I have learnt :

  1. I cannot change anyone, I must stay in my own SKIN.
  2. Respect their story of victimhood, bitterness, drama, anger, resentment. Listen but don’t get involved.
  3. Your story belongs to you : I don’t feature in your movie, thanks.
  4. The absolutes that people use : ie. I  can’t. I don’t, I m not going to is their inadequacy, leave it be.
  5. Fore-warn Intuitively : Sometimes you can warn someone and they will wipe the advise away and happily make bad life choices, let them. You are not responsible for them, so be detached.
  6. Discipline is a valuable tool  – kids and adults need it. Discipline yourself  to NOT jump in and save anyone. They will be ungrateful and unappreciative.
  7. Being of good character is an art that you practise everyday, by doing random acts of kindness. By doing anonymous good deeds. Living honestly with yourself and others. Listen but be sceptical, poor people don’t book holidays on their broke bank accounts, be discerning.
  8. Speak your truth. Bullshit, lies, manipulation, playing others, are all out there. Don’t conform to it. Be free enough to speak your truth.
  9. It is easy to moan, groan, complain, vent!  It takes a great deal of will to keep quiet and channel the energy into solving a situation, don’t be full of hot air and have no back bone, Stand up!
  10. Gratitude has a lasting effect on yourself and others. Showing appreciation, making eye contact, being present goes a long way of sharing your humanity. Be human, Be present, be here and now, not anywhere else. This MOMENT is true.
  11. Excuses : Identifying a problem and fulfilling it with an excuse every time enables a weak character. A Life is filled with excuses is not a fulfilled spirit life, stop making them and get off your ass and take action.

Self LOVE – when you love yourself you protect yourself by saying NO to what does not serve you, act, don’t be a doormat of self sacrifice, it defeats the purpose of learning.

 Living a LIFE of purpose is imperative : When you have purpose,

nothing else matters, so find yours and dedicate all of your efforts to it,

life is for the LIVING, go live it.





No Love. No Money.


I sit at your heart and knock? What do you love?

What would make you wake up at the crack of dawn, to do yoga, to pray, to get fitter?

I love what I do, I love helping others heal with massage, reiki and counselling.

The complete idea of doing what I love wakes me up and my day starts with

cats demanding milk and Pampers and did I mention, they love tea. (yes they are spoilt babies)

I digress.

LOVE : what is it? it is the indescribable passion of having fire in your chest to

do what You love, despite criticism and naysayers.

How can You start, if you have NO money?

Start with LOVING yourself. Start loving every aspect of yourself.

Start watching YOU TUBE videos about DR EMOTO and Water.

(We are 99% liquid, start LOVING you and Blessing You)

Start with watching  clips about What the bleep, do we know on YOU TUBE.

Start eating fruit and vegetables and drinking fresh water, automatically

you will start to change YOUR vibration, Your Energy.

Go for a walk everyday, get grounded.

When I started, I was to heavy to walk, so I jumped on my trampoline everyday.

You have to start, this is the most important journey of your life.

Next :  Clean and Cleanse and Detox your life.

Your House

Your wallet

Your cupboard

Your friendships

GIVE away what you no LONGER need.

Give 10% of what you earn away to someone in Need.

Share what you have with response ability. (no energy vampires, no parasites)

Many people think that having no money is a physical inadequacy but

Money is JUST paper. If you start to LOVE your life, your world,

you become RICHER, because of the quality of your life.

We have fresh running water.

We have fresh growing food.

We have electricity.

We have a home.

We have a good life.

Start re-enforcing the GOOD of Gratitude in your Life.

Say Thank you, offer Appreciation for all you have and to others.

Slowly, you start to change your energy and those around you,

you start to create a better Universe for You and Others.

It starts with Y O U.  What do you LOVE?



I’m no guru, I’m a warrior



I’m no GURU, it is true. I am just as human as you.

I have my faults and my failings, I am a woman seeking to discover my True Light,

to push my own boundaries, to learn about my limitations,

no matter how uncomfortable it is.

I believe in living a spirit filled life which means embracing all aspects of me:

my light which is joy, laughter, fun, light heartedness, forgiveness.

my darkness which is depression, fear, hardened hard, fault finding

my brat, my adolescent self, my adult self, my goddess self.

I believe as I journey on, I keep learning, I wipe the tears, I heal the heart, I keep moving,

as this is all I know. I choose to keep at it.

I once had my tarot read by a parot, he was pretty apt.

I once had my jyotish (hindu astrologer) read my life path in Tamil for 2 hrs,

after which he refused payment from me, he too was very apt.

I am human, I dream, I romanticise, I create, I am me.

I cannot be anyone else, but me, because I am happy.

I choose happiness everyday, because I love me, sometimes more, sometimes less.

Lessons have carved aspects of my warrior, the heartbreak, the endurance and

perserverance in whatever life throws my way, it has created who I am, me.

Warrior, Healer, Shaman, Therapist, Massager, Wife, counsellor, friend,

Partner, . . . .

In so doing, it has sculpted me for the path which lies ahead for the journeys

to be taken, for the lessons to come, I know I am strong enough to embrace

them all, I have a shield of blue light, an Ethane to cut  – whomever off, I step forward

leaping into it, because I can only move forward, the past is no more,

the future is unknown, all I have is this moment of leaping in, because

this is all I have.





Embracing Menopause: Maiden, Mother, Crone }(for future healers)


After  the last 12 months, I have turned 40, and experienced a variety of perimenopause symptoms,

things that I could not explain. So, I did a detox and the answer I came up with, is that menopause is just

around the corner for me. I was in shock and realized I had just gotten used to being 40 and a woman.

It felt like my body was betraying me, with all the uncontrollable things like mood swings,

fatigue, trouble sleeping, irritability, I felt like I was loosing my mind but after some investigation

and self analysis, I needed to embrace this cycle of being a crone lady.  menopause-2

I naturally flowed into changing my diet, including more of these super foods.

I wanted to eat more spinach and green vegetables and I craved tomatoe juice.menopause-4


I started sleeping with moonstone gemstones in my bed and  placed rosequartz around it,

it was a natural process.

I also started reiki ing myself more and taking time to shut down my body,

so it can handle this process better.  menopause-5

I started doing more yoga because I just felt so much better after doing a 45 minute session of breathing and stretching.


I was analysing the entire journey of how did I get to menopause at age 40.

Well after doing 45 Reiki attunements, with 2 Reiki master attunements, it has heightened

my vibration and made everything operate on a faster level. This being said, since I spent

12 months in India and having menstruated twice a month, when in India because of the high

energy vibration, I have used up my ovary supply, I am guessing.

I believe like mother nature, this is a new cycle of being a woman, it is called Crone.

To become more of yourself and embrace, what we sometimes cannot understand.



I also discovered that American Indians used Black Cohosh for all woman issues, including

menopause, (I got some from clicks yesterday), and found it is also available at dischem, R149.

I was puzzled by being so young and having to embrace this journey, as the women I have had

contact with during this cycle of their lives,  have been negative about it, which scared me.

I then realized that my own self discipline of keeping my shit together,

doing weights training every 2nd day, walking, doing yoga and eating a healthy diet,

has helped me embrace  this leg of my journey!

It certainly depends on you! how you embrace it…. with shock and horror, or

lets make it work… in the highest positive light ever.

A change in pace, A change in diet, A change in yoga routine, A new reiki schedule,

A focusing of embracing the inner change, as a new journey begins within.

It is not the end, but only the beginning, of something new, ME.