I’ve always had a fantasy of having a knight in shinning armour sweep me off my feet, taking me to our castle home!
Well! That’s really not how my partnership started.
I met my partner in 1998. He was freshly divorced and hurting. His current lover was a cocaine addict. I knew intuitively it would end.
I blackmailed my boss into hiring him and he did.
I had a plan. I had asked God to send me Mr Right and I gave a whole list of requirements :
My partner must …..
Be a good lover
Be a good teacher
Believer in God
Be a good cook
I asked for so many things. Looking back now, I was asking for a life changing experience!
I interviewed him as my partner for two hours and after that I knew he was the one.
My soul mate. My partner. Moulded for me. A wonderful fantasy!?
His ex wife had moulded him into a excellent cook, husband, father.
In our relationship, he dumped me 8 times.
He didn’t want a relationship but I was persistant being an aquarius and all.
On our 8th reconciliation, I decided it was time for an ultimatum.
I said: If I leave now, you will never see me again and well he then decided, we should get married, live together.
The ideas of a partner as a knight in shinning armour or having my own expectations of how things should be was and is completely false.
Our roles in our partnership are reversed. I’m the supporter/ financial provider, therapist while my partner is the home-maker, cook, helper, my healer.
My partner has taught me so many things, from business to life, to self love and nurturing.
He introduced me to reiki. He gave me my first massage ever.
He taught me to drive.
Gave me the self confidence to travel and do amazing things.
He too has a vision of what and who I should be and everyday I am growing closer to my true self, the Colleen he envisioned.
I’m learning that the evolving of myself is a rocky road, the old paradigm’s are leaving and a new unknown paradigm of love is ruling.
Our journey together of 16years has been filled with love, tears, pain, growth, heartache and adventure.
What we thought would separate us, brought us intimacy and love.
So, my thoughts on relationships.
Change is inevitable.
Accept thy issues.
Address a problem head on.
Be willing to give your partner, the benefit of the doubt.
Listen with love.
Never take advice from a “single or divorced or broken unstable or hurt” person, the complexity of a relationship – is complex.
Exercise a wise heart.
Hold your tongue.
Set your ego and painbody aside.
Respond with more love.
Be happy: only you know what makes your life happy.
No one can measure true love which cannot be explained!
It is only felt.
So, be happily ever after …….