Overmothering? How it F*&^%s with your relationships!

 

 

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I was overmothered by my grandma and it did me no good! I was molly coddled, a “woes” at best, a lame duck. I cried in meetings at work when I people criticised me and attacked my character. I cried at home on  my grandmothers shoulders, she assured me that everything would be ok, but it never was. I started growing “a pair of balls” only when I met my partner.

Overmothering ? ! I thought this is how all woman are : yes / no ? I thought this is how I should be in my marriage? What a big mistake.

I ran away to India in 2009, drained, frustrated and just a lack of vigor for life.

I was finished emotionally and physically. A doctor gave me 5 years to live, if I didn’t slow down and stop carrying “people and my partner emotionally”! I would die.

So I returned home. It was a process to tell my partner, I can no longer mother you! I’m putting you down, please be who you are, and learn your lessons from it. I will love you and support you in whatever you decide but I can no longer carry you as a mother.

I wanted joy in my life, I wanted to be loved for me, I wanted orgasms that made my eyes roll back in my head and I wanted fun in my life.

What I didn’t want is to have to overmother my partner.

Where does overmothering come from ? I feel  it is a lack of SELF LOVE to yourself”

Every Time you don’t say NO!

Every time you don’t discipline them!

Every time you say yes but mean NO!

Every time you self sacrifice yourself and your needs for theirs!

Please don’t misinterpret me! with parenthood or relationships there are always sacrifices, but be WISE!

Overmothering f&^%@s with you and your relationship – with everyone as a whole.

You loose a lot of years nurturing “overmothering” when in fact you need to SPEAK UP!

Express your needs and desires and refrain from giving your partner to much power, so you are the doormat.

I see lots  of woman in their 40’s and 50’s who have lost themselves in motherhood, womanhood and slavehood.

Firstly, men are not superior to us. The GOOD book which was translated by a male, says so but i don’t believe it!

We as woman give so much of ourselves to any relationship and loose ourselves in it – What kind of crap is this?

I have learnt, I am happy loving myself by voicing my needs and wants.

By not subduing and suppressing who I am!

Don’t let your partner dictate or abuse your will in any way.

You are spirit and should live out who you are …by :

Writing

Dancing

Creating

Painting

Gardening

Travelling

Being free

Doing all of these things ignites your spirit to being Happy and Joyous!

Not on Anti-depressants to suppress who you are!

S T A N D     U P ! stop being a victim, its the year 2014!

Woman can vote, take contraceptives, are free to have pleasure in our lives.

P l e a s u r e ? Oh my God? When last did you have an orgasm   or sex?

Woman its time to jump out of your box of unhappiness of overmothering, put your husband and kids and friends down!

Its time to be loving and happy with yourself and start making healthy boundaries of NO!

NO: I’M NOT COOKING!

NO: I’M going out!

NO: I have a date with me.

Go be an amazing woman!

Stop letting Life pass you by!

For the LOVE of LIFE! stop over mothering it is killing you, and your relationships!

 

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