Surviving 15 years of marriage, what I’ve learnt so far …

marriage

I had a simple lunch yesterday, celebrating our love of 15 years, actually 16 years together.
The first anniversary you remember the most, the rest begin to form a blur of none rememberance.
Never take advice from divorced, separated or single people, it obviously didn’t work out. Take advice from happy old couples only.

Marriage is a Journey, your partner will happily highlight your flaws and point

out your wrongs, take it and then make an effort to correct your behavior.
Never go to bed angry, with one another.
When an issue arises, take time to be quiet and identify the issue, don’t stir each others “pain body” and forget all the good together. (no screaming matches) Respect each other to be quiet.
An Anniversary is a double edged sword, people celebrate it for the “lack of love” they didn’t give their partner, throughout the year. Try and make everyday special, it only takes time to do so.
Disappointment and hurt are part of life, don’t close off your heart because of it, learn to love more and to forgive.
Your partner holds your heart and love in his hands, treat him with love and with care.
Expectations are a vicious ambition, it will either make you dreadfully unhappy or help you realize you need to let go of the picture in your head and move on. Create a vision board as a couple instead.
Life is complex. It is filled with irony. Sometimes not getting what you want is actually good for you.
In this journey of love, a deep partnership where all secrets are open for the viewing, the good, the bad, the ugly, there is also the threat of our mortality, knowing that one day we will die and we might suffer, but die we will eventually do. The loss of your partner will come, but for now we live together as if time has no end.
Learn to appreciate,  every moment of whatever emotion you share.
Adventuring together is important. Assist your partner to grow, but don’t carry, ‘enable’ or
Subdue any part of who you are.
Being a good wife is putting your needs first! Years later bitterness and anger will bite you, if you aren’t taken care of you.
Living your dream and working together, is one part courage, one part bravery, one part discipline not to
“kill” the person you see everyday.
Accepting that we are both needy individuals, wanting attention, acceptance, love, and a friend to approve of your mad ideas.
A partner to laugh at life, to fall over our own feet, and repeat stupid mistakes, its called humanity.
Its ok for your partner and yourself to relearn about action and consequences again and again and again…..
In the end, love is what we strive for.
Love is present when there is a absence of judging, blaming, assuming, taking it personally and leaving behind the victimhood, at the front door.
Love an unconditional emotion, part of the infinite, we seek it, treasure it, and sometimes find it. I know I have in these years of growing into my own ‘madness’, finding my own happiness in who I am and standing up to be the person, he saw me to be, when we met years ago.

And so we journey on, into the unknown…..

 

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