Fear of C -h- a- n- g- e-

Change

 

 

Change is often a very scary word!

Everyone wants it but when it comes to actually doing it, the fear of the unknown or the lack of discipline frightens many.

I have been facing myself on this matter a lot. Keri gave me,  the book : The Four Agreements and the book called the Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz. Previously, I had considered myself “ok” ish. I read the Four Agreements and well there were parts of the book which I realized that I need to be impeccable with my words more. I need to bring more light, I need to not speak any bad things or poisons out to the Universe, even if I am pissed off, which happens sometimes.
I realized that these books came at the right time, it was time to change within for me.
I have added them to my daily affirmations : Refrain from Judging, Blaming, Assuming or taking it Personally.
Also, no speaking poisons of any kind, no gossip, no allowing my ego or shadow to take over.
Keep living Spirit every moment of the day!   this is no easy task.
I have been domesticated, raised by people who have cursed people to death, I kid you not!
My grandpa was cursed by my grandma = died exactly so
My uncle was cursed by aunt = he never came home
My sister cursed her husband = he was killed in an accident
So, you see the cycle to use your words for darkness and not for light is possible.

They all unintentionally, in anger used the words when they felt helpless and

in a “victimized” situation.

These are very harsh consequences to live with.

So I keep myself in check, I needed
To uncover all of the old wounds, the poisons spoken upon me, for example:
Your stupid!
Your Ugly!
Your inadequate! You wont amount to much!
Discreating these agreements, released me and I felt a deep shadow lifting from my soul.
I kept going even when I felt uncomfortable, and uncovered a few wounds of fear.
Don Miguel says anger is only a mask reflection of fear.
I committed to myself to do the Inner work so that I could grow. Everyday, I am now
Being conscious and aware of my thoughts and intentions. The most important deep change

within Is that I love me a little more which has made me even more comfortable with myself.
Accepting myself on a deeper level and this has made me kinder to myself.
Like accepting of myself as a person who has needs.

Needs of comfort : good food, soft bed and pillow, hot baths, quiet environment

to work and live in, comfortable clothes, a good life.
You can see the change on the inside has now affected my entire life on the outside.
I am calmer, a deep seated calmness, a non reactive attitude of great change is taking place.

I am feeling more me. I have started speaking my truth more and more.

I ask more questions and clarify things, so I understand them better.

The Change is happening, its flowing like a perfectly natural occurence.

Want to grow! Read the Four Agreements and the Mastery of Love!

It will change your world.

 

Lotsa Love

Colleen

 

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