Having a relationship of any kind is COMPLEX! When I was growing up as a romantic teenager,
I dreamt and drooled about love, how it should be, how its going to be.
MY preconceived ideas and expectations has only brought me misery!
I Can Honestly say : Wake UP Colleen : Real Life is Real and this is what I have learnt so far.
I have been with my partner for 16 years.
My grandmother used to say that whoever marries me should have “hair” on their teeth, I am alot of work, I know. I have changed from the naiive 22 year
old into a 38 year old Warrior, Woman, Demander, Boss, Partner, Supporter, Wife. I have had over 45 life
changing experiences and his still here. He hasn’t run away.
We have fought, laughed, cursed, endured in sickness, madness and health
and our love has grown into a MATURE LOVE. I cannot picture my life without my partner.
What I am going to share is what kills the Passion:
– Disappointment : expecting your partner to be : What he is not! Stop it.
– Tone of voice : Speaking to your partner in a derogatory way. Stop it.
– Disrespect him/ her. Stop it.
– Old wounds from the past that stay in your mind, and keeps festering. Stop it.
-Comparing partners : Friends do that. Stop it.
-Lack of Honesty. Speak your truth.
-No Sex : No Passion. If you want it, seduce him or be happily seduced. Regret over sex
or lack thereof is stupid.
-Expectations : you cannot expect someone to be who you want. It just doesn’t work.
We are raised with this expectation of finding our KNIGHT in shinning armour!
YOU Are Your KNIGHT! Stand UP!
Some books to help you heal:
Don Miguel Ruiz : The four agreements and the Mastery of Love.
Make a conscious effort to start working on yourself :
– Sort out your emotional wounds : Forgive, bless, release it.
-Fast and Prayer.
-Disappointment : Let it go. You need to love yourself more.
-Expectations, so you didn’t get what you wanted? boo hoo! You got what you needed. Buck up and stop being
a victim, see his goodness also.
LOVE is always there, it is the use of JUDGEMENT, BLAMING, ASSUMING, Taking it PERSONALLY is what
kills the LOVE.
Love is LOVE and its very UNCONDITIONAL.
To many couples give up so easily. >>>> Divorce >>>> Separation >>>>Find a new partner to start over.
I say if you have found your soul mate : How come you can quickly UNSOUL MATE this person?
I say how come can you easily start finding FAULT with this person because my dear,
you have old wounds, old stuff that you have carried with you for years and
not dealt with it.
Its time to stop wasting time!
Decide you want to heal and find happiness within yourself which is not dependent
on someone else.
If you keen to enter this journey, book a session with me: Colleen van Heerden
firstname.lastname@example.org / 0846030604
If not, You want to complain, be a victim, suffer and be a self abuser >>>>> Enjoy.
I would much rather be happy, healthy, loved and treasured.
Healer, therapist, blogger, inspirer.