When the other shoe has dropped!

July 2015 (23)

Staring at my last few days at Satori farm, I have had a deeper realization of myself.

First off, I love living in the country but I don’t enjoy living in the outback.

I will explain, I feel vulnerable, at risk and insecure living in a wooden cabin,

in the middle of nowhere. The weather conditions of gale force winds, extreme

Cold and rain, are scary for me.

I am accustomed to seeing people around me and enjoying the company,

I am feeling like I am on a deserted island, this is not good for me.

Secondly, our air-sulated cabin letting in the sunshine, wind, rain and all types of forces

Makes me feel insecure and not protected from nature.

Thirdly, the new clients I have seen in the last 6 months have been quite dramatic.

Filled with drama, either angry at me for the distance they have travelled,

or very disgruntled because of the road,

or they have gotten lost, or

had a accident on the way here, this has not been a loving experience for me.

Fourthly, Willem copes well in this environment of rough living, me… not so much.

I find it to be a harsh life, of no female energy, everything is about survival from

Chopping wood for survival, to having quick showers, to conserving petrol in the generator, to

Monitoring the solar panels.   I feel there is no female soft energy with this type of living.

No comfortable bathtime, no watching a quick motivational movie,

no showering for 20 minutes and talking to myself.

No romance either, this is what we have encountered with the cold weather.

No comfortable sleeping, 3 duvets just doesn’t make it nice.

What really helped me cope with all of this madness is Love.

I have been working on myself, to keep

A open heart, to forgive easily, to say I am sorry, to be quiet and learn what is needed for my growth.

Growth, change, a deep appreciation for my relationship and having immense

gratitude for everything from the cold showers I take, to the sunshine.

Learning that I am connected to so many people because I love and care.

I have learnt to discern who is my friend, and who is my foe.

I have stepped away from negative fear based people! And with loving arms into a

Friendships that build me up, encourage me, make me laugh at my madness and circumstances.

Because, it is what we dislike that encourages us to grow, to learn, to change, to Master ourselves.

The last 6 months has been the most uncomfortable part of my life.

I have been pushed to my limits physically, emotionally and grown spiritually,

and  this is what I needed.

I needed to become a stronger person within myself, harnessing lessons from the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, from Hópono pono to love myself, to say I am sorry, to forgive and say thank you, to be guided

by Sonia Choquette’s book : travelling at the speed of LOVE!

To understand myself and others better! And have a deeper awareness of what I think and how I react to life!

To be grateful and full of LOVE is the highest vibration as per Dr Emoto.

May I continue on this journey of LOVE and self discovery.

Learning, growing and becoming aligned with my true path as a healer, blogger, therapist, wife, teacher!

Aloha and thank you! to you for the on going support.

Colleen

 

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