I stood frozen. I knew I had to remove my clothes and
but I didn’t know that 2 strangers, 2 men would massage me.
I was scared. I felt vulnerable, exposed. My Teacher looked into
my eyes and said,
a body is a body,
Colleen, take off your clothes, and get on with it.
Naked, I lay on the table, clinging to my sarong.
Breast exposed. Scars exposed, fat rolls exposed.
The feeling of four hands, warm hands, loving, nurturing, oiling my body.
Four hands finding the contours of my body.
(My first Hawaiian lomi lomi course)
I loved it. I floated away. I trusted my body to heal, to feel the love, I relax. I surrendered.
I didn’t mind that my body was imperfect, I didn’t mind being naked in the courses
I did afterwards. I actually loved the freedom, of no clothes, just me feeling free.
Society conditions us that nakedness = sex or implies a sexual experience, but
in reality, it doesn’t. Sometimes we need to get naked to the heal parts of our spirit,
to heal with a deeper acceptance of ourselves.
To feel completely brainless and at ease after a massage, not knowing my name
or drooling with pleasure.
Pleasure, we run from it, but it is what makes life worth it.
We are headed to death, some slower, some faster.
The pleasure of loving yourself, living your spirit, having the human pleasure
of ecstacy in life, is also truth.
May you explore yourself. Your levels of pleasure, nakedness and life.
Explore the emotional bliss of having two people massage you.
Explore the pleasure of being touched, deeper than your skin.
Explore who you are, find and love yourself, deeper.
We need to be free, to be ourselves, in so doing we find a deeper happiness within.