When I met my partner 18 years ago, I knew exactly what I wanted, I made a list, I ticked off every aspect which was good and never thought that this person would change my life and change me.
(Male driven me..at the time)
Being in a relationship takes work, you become responsible for every aspect of your life with this person, reason being woman are naturally more responsible for creating, that being said, you need to understand that running a home, having a job, being a wife, a lover, a mother, literally changes every aspect of you.
The change from being a single person, as you begin to realize, you need to “mother” your partner, ensuring he takes his stuff, ie. Cell phone, wallet, keys with him, or you are left feeling frustrated every time you have to turn around and go fetch his stuff, at home.
You adapt, you juggle, you plan, you start being efficient and make plans intuitively have back up plans, if and when, he forgets, or caused some chaos at home. (
leaving the gas on or the washing machine tap running flooding, the house)
Our brains are then divided into 5 roles and then some, because we enjoy a flowing life and not a chaotic one.
Having 5 different roles to play is exhausting, and sometimes all you want is 5 minutes to yourself to complete a thought, to daydream about the past, or just 20 minutes to take a nap. ME time becomes this treasure that keeps evading you.
Here is the KEY! = You are the boss. You are the boss of your relationship and how you manage your time, how you nurture or neglect you.
After turning 40 this year, I have been changing a few things in my life, to make my life better for me.
Rule 1 :
Only I can make me happy, to ensure my happiness, I choose to affirm that ‘this’ or that makes me happy, and if it makes you unhappy, don’t do it with me, simple. It is your own responsibility to make you happy, I cannot do it for you, simple.
Rule 2 :
NO means NO! simple, I don’t need to justify why or what.
No is no.
Rule 3 :
Ask for Help. I can multitask but sometimes, I am tired and 5 minutes of some tlc like rubbing my feet would be appreciated. Noted! And action taken . . . will be reminded frequently….of this one.
Rule 4 :
Nurturing is easy. Love yourself by Taking your vitamins (vit b complex, vit c, iron, dolomite, just to name a few). Do Exercise. Do yoga, meditate, Reiki you every day or go for a massage / reiki session to keep you feeling loved and nurtured. You either nurture or neglect you. When you neglect you…you give people your scraps, and not your best.
Rule 5 :
Do your best. When you do your best, you run the race called life with yourself, and no one else matters. So, keep focus on what is important and let the worries fall away.
The most important part is to choose to be happy and manage every aspect of your life with ease, as if it takes no effort, this is the making of a True Warrior, a big hearted woman.