Relationship between Ish and Isha : man and wife



What is the relationship between a Husband and a Wife?

By Yochanan Zaqantov

The Hebrew word for husband is Iysh (Aleph-Yod-Shin). It can also be for a man. It is reference number 376. This can be found in the NEHC on pages 60-69 and in the BDB on pages 35-36. It is from the word Enosh (Aleph-Nun-Vav-Shin) which is the Hebrew also for man.

Bereshit/Genesis 2:23-24

23     Then the man (ha’adam הָאָדָם) said, “This one at last Is bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh. This one shall be called Woman (ishah  אִשָּׁה), For from man (me’iysh מֵ‍אִישׁ) was she taken.”24     Hence a man (iysh אִישׁ) leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife (ba’ish’to בְּאִשְׁתּוֹ), so that they become one flesh.

Here we see the meeting of Ish and his ishah. Adam and Chava meet and he takes her to him. Verse 24, appears to be a statement from Yehovah but some have stated that Adam could have said it since quotes are not in Hebrew and are purely arbitrary in this verse. In other words, Adam could have said this also.

We see that Ishah (Aleph-Shin-Hey) is the Hebrew word for woman. It is reference number 802, which is from Ish. It is found on page 175-178 of the NEHC and on pages 61 of the BDB.

We see that in this verse that we just read that her man or her husband would be ish’to and so we will focus on these places in the Tanakh so we can see what specifically does her husband/man do with her.

Bereshit/Genesis 16:3

 3     So Sarai, Abram’s wife (eshet אֵשֶׁת), took her maid, Hagar the Egyptian—after Abram had dwelt in the land of Canaan ten years—and gave her to her husband (iyshah אִישָׁהּ) Abram as concubine .

The difference in pronounciation is very similar to Ishah (Alpeh-Sin-Hey) and Iysh’ah (Aleph-Yod-Shin-Hey).  The first way is of the woman and the second way is the making of Ish (Aleph-Yod-Shin) as denoting a feminine usage by adding the hey ending or belonging to the woman. Literally speaking “Her man” is what it is saying.

If we fully transliterate we can see the relationship. So the reason we are focusing on the belonging to one another is that it means they are in a relationship.


Iysh – Man/husband Ishah – Woman/wife
Iyshah – her man/husband Ish’to – his woman/wife

So lets look at places in Hebrew where Ish’to (His Woman or Wife)


About 10 years ago, my Rabbi Hoffman, told us a story of how man and a woman fit together.

How Man and woman become one spirit and if they have SPIRIT in the sense of a deep love,

a Fire, A “godly” connection, they will grow together, seeking the DIVINE and bringing

forth, more and more within each other, LOVE.

If they have no Spiritual connection in the relationship, it will destroy the partnership,

it will be harmful, broken, no balance, no SOUL connection.

I was privileged enough to attend the first GAY Jewish marriage in Cape Town,

when it was legalised.

I also arranged the first gay marriage in Bethlehem in the Free state.

A relationship, a marriage, a partnership takes work.

We are born with both male and female spirits, yin and yang.

This love we have it is like a seed, what you put into it, grows.

If you put in LOVE, Communication, understanding, a journeying together, you reap

a awesome union.

If you sow the seeds of Drama, negativity, character bashing,

the disappointment will kill the LOVE.

Some tips on how to grow into a sacred relationship:

1. Be honest with yourself and your partner.

2. Say what you want. Speak UP!@

3. Be the best part of you. If you are unfit, get healthy. Eat better, drink water,

take vitamins. Make better choices. Change YOU! Meditate together.

4. Talk to your partner,  Share your life, put your phone away.

5. Time : Make time for your partner, always.

6. Have awesome making love sessions.

7. Be kind. Understand. Be compassionate. Be your partners keeper.

8. Change comes from within, don’t wish and hope for them to change, they won’t.

9. A relationship is 50 % x 2  + commitment and dedication from both sides.

10. The grass is Not greener with another partner, if you cannot

out run your current issues, embrace what you need to learn and address them.

11. Don’t live a dualistic existence with your partner, be open and honest and speak up

and change what you need.

12. Compromise and Tolerance – Communication: When my partner visits a friend, he   will text me to say he arrived safely and they are having tea or when he will be leaving. He does this because he respects me, and knows that I care.

I will do the same. If I am in Cape Town, we will chat in the morning

and evening to touch base and reconnect and share. This communication keeps us in a good space.

If you don’t have the inclination to text, email or communicate to your partner, you are

being disrespectful to your partner. Learn how to change this and communicate better.

13. We all have our weakness and strengths. I can manifest things in

our reality faster, but I hate traffic and noise, so he drives and I do my part,

like finding a parking spot. Work together, flow as one.

14. Sacrifice : sometimes you have to make sacrifices, it is part of a partnership.

Give and Take.

Discuss your reservations and then do it. Your partner will respect that you are willing to.

Don’t be a martyr. . .  be honest, speak up.

15. Empty promises : Don’t say you will call and you don’t.

You create a expectation and it is

followed by disappointment which will follow with anger, fear.

Rather be honest.

Don’t people please.

16. You can love someone but YOU can dislike them as a HUMAN being.

Their lack of manners, cleanliness, personal pottering time, excessive cigarettes in

a ashtray, their lack of consideration for others, their attitude of

preferential treatment to waiters, could make being their partner,

a pain in the ass. SO, discuss and change it.

When you are in a partnership, it is about being comfortable in the relationship,

NOT tense or stressed out when your partner has tantrum in public.

For example: asking for fish with No bones and SKIN –

which is Never on the menu.

Just Creates Drama and Negativity.

17.   There are those who have a “outside” face and a “at home” face which they create,

a dualistic persona of what people see…. and who you are?

when at home, in your Pyjamas?

I say be authentic, be who you are, all the time.

18.  If your partner is a wise ass, a know it all, a cunning linguist, a askhole,

and these aspects irritate, annoy, pushes your button, have the courage to

share your disapproval and ask them to stop… the Bullshit.

19. Our spirits are both male and female, we become one when we orgasm, we share

a soul space, in that moment, my shit, my issues, my body, my spirit is shared with you.

The deeper the connection, the sacredness, the intimacy, grows and we become closer.


20. Love makes us want to be better people. We may have scars but they heal

and pain fades away, when someone believes In us.

When they wipe our tears and help you heal from wounds or

take care of you when you are sick.

Life is like a box of chocolates, but when you share it with

someone you love, you want to give them your best, the best aspect of you.

21. LOVE : a complex thing : We seek it, We need it, We work for it,

We want the magic,

Make it happen. I know you can.








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