The good kid : A empath’s view

sitting-under-the-tree

 

I sit under the tree, I breathe a sigh of relief,

No adults,

or kid sister, just me and my thoughts.

I watch the ants go by. I listen to the leaves rustle in the wind, peace.

No responsibility!  Freedom for me! yay! I love these moments I create for me.

There is a endless list of chores to do at home,  “take care of your sister” look after her,

keep her out of trouble”,  feed the dog, water the garden.

I learnt to run away, run to the neighbour, go to the shop, buy this or that.

I am the responsible one, I listen to my elders, I am the goodie two shoes,

I don’t see it as a gift but more of a punishment.

Because I am good, I am treated differently, the “bad” kids get help

with everything, I am left to my own devices, to raise myself,

to listen to their words of truths, regret, bitterness, anger, “if only’s”,

its like the warnings of pregnancies, kids, are imprinted into me and even

though I love kids, I know, I wont have any of my own.

I go to bed tired, tired of being the “good” kid because tomorrow is

another day filled with chores, instructions, school, homework, study,

fetch my sister and so on, another day!

I know this is NOT how it is supposed to be.

I want to be free to do the bad also, not because I am bad, but

because I need to grow up without your judgment,

into the frame of LOVE, which is absent.

I recognise this is not normal, I recognise, I am different

and I choose to love me anyway because you have no love,

not even for you.

 

 

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