Growing Pains


Growth is all about facing yourself, your emotions,

becoming friends with the pain, holding the yoga pose,

biting your tongue, holding your space and your energy.

Becoming a yogi, embracing self Mastery is hard.

The demands are to grow on  every level :

physical  : exercise, yoga, breathe work, weights

emotional  :  controlling your impulsive reactions, controlling your shadow

spiritual  : prayer, meditation, reiki, intention

It affects every aspect of my life, and it will affect those around me.

It has been 4 months of kicking my own ass.

Move. Walk. Do yoga. Do ki chung. Receive a treatment.

Rest, Redo.

Eating less is the hardest discipline to master. (for me)

Food has been my subduing method of comfort, my instant

love, my soother, my suppressor of emotions, hiding what I

truly feel.   Now, with this buffer illuminated, I feel vulnerable,

like I  have to embrace the grumpiness, I have to discipline

the need, the ache, the urge to binge eat.

To take control of how I feel, embracing the surfacing emotions,

addressing the root cause, the screaming inner child.

The adolescent who was never a teenager, the adult who

became a martyr.  Connecting the bridge, filling the void

with love, closing the hole, in becoming feminine, part of my own Oneness.

Self talk helps, breathing through what surfaces.

Discipline the sculptor of what I need to become.

The fat has been the protector, the comforter, the normal approach,

people easily judge you for it. They file you in the inadequate folder,

never really going deeper as to why?   Our brains are trained to see the

attractive / sexually attractive  person, the perfect shape, size,

curve, anything else is imperfect, criticised, judged, yet we live in

a broken society. Shallow is the normal, yet no one is perfect.

Healing is a journey, perfection is relative.

Does size matter when I hold your hand or give you a hug

or a smile or share laughter or look you in the eyes? NO

Do you measure your waist before you have a orgasm? NO

Do you kiss with a measuring tape at hand?  NO

Be who you are. Exclude : Shape, Size.

Start looking with your heart of Love!


Treasuring this human experience of Spirit.

Embracing all of it, even the growing pains. . .




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